Following this week's G20 meeting, Australian PM Kevin Rudd has already shown his willingness to follow Gordon Brown's lead in stimulating the economy by throwing mobile phones and other objects at his staff, requiring the purchase of their replacement, thereby providing a much-needed demand boost to the economy.
Mr Rudd's new spokesman, Alastair Campbell, pointed out that, 'Throwing items such as mobile phones and chairs at civil servants is just Kevin's way of joking around. And even if they did require counselling afterwards, that will also help stimulate the economy.
'If you report anything other than this official line, you'll end up like David Kelly.'
Reports from ex-staffers that Mr Rudd's behaviour could be explained by the fact that he had caught a rare virus from Mr Brown - who has exhibited behaviours similar to those of Mr Rudd, including telephoning officials at all times of the night and having violent temper tantrums, as well as throwing objects at people - known as socialistus mentalis psycho-sociopathus (SMPS) were dismissed by Mr Campbell, who pointed out that, 'I'm a pretty sane kind of guy, and I'm sure I would have noticed any abnormal behaviour on the part of Kevin, or, indeed, Gordon, who is, of course, one of my closest friends.'
Denying reports that he had deliberately passed on the SMPS virus to Mr Rudd, Gordon Brown said, 'We announced at the G20 that we would launch a fiscal stimulus, and Kevin Rudd is doing just that. The fact that Kevin Rudd is following the lead taken by the Labour Government in Great Britain just goes to show how far the do-nothing-Tories are outside the consensus of world opinion in dealing with the downturn.
'With the leaders of all G20 countries following my lead and breaking mobile phones, computer keyboards and chairs at least once a day, we will soon reach the $1.1 trillion stimulus promised in London on Thursday.'
Shares of Nokia, Motorola and LG rose sharply in trading today, following Mr Brown's comments.
Medical note: The SMPS virus
The SMPS virus is normally transmitted sexually, usually through unprotected anal intercourse. However, it can also (rarely) be transmitted via contaminated toilet seats. Mr Rudd is known to partake of an unusual practice, known as 'driving the porcelain bus' on occasions, usually after eating food at sporting events. It is possible he could have caught the SMPS virus after sharing a bathroom with Mr Brown at the G20 event.
Showing posts with label total and utter bastards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label total and utter bastards. Show all posts
Saturday, 4 April 2009
Sunday, 1 March 2009
The New Zimbabwe?
As Zimbabwe goes further down the toilet, thanks to the support for Robert Mugabe provided by the South African government and British banks, a new Zimbabwe appears to be rising, or, rather, sinking - the 'People's Democratic Republic of Venezuela'.
Fresh from appointing himself President for Life (not that he was ever going to give up power, of course), Hugo 'Wanker doesn't begin to describe him' Chavez now seems to be nationalising food production.
Like that never leads to food shortages...
The people of Venezuela have my sympathies - first, they suffered under the rule of a self-interested, crooked 'elite', and now the man that claimed he would 'save' them is making things worse [This seems to remind me of someone else who claims to be a saviour, but the name somehow escapes me...].
And, to top it all, they've had to put up with visits and support from Ken 'Cronyism isn't my middle name, because I'm a cheeky chappie' Livingslime. Who, together with the usual bunch of Guardianista gobshites, thinks everything in Venezuela is hunky-dory.
When Venezuela collapses, will Ken admit he got it wrong? Or will he be like the (inexplicably popular) twat and hypocrite-par-excellence landowner, Tony Wedgewood-Benn, and claim that he was never wrong about anything? Sadly, I know where my money is...
Fuck, I hate socialists. They destroy anything that's good in life and accentuate everything that's bad. And then they claim to represent the 'workers', whilst they live in luxury hotels and dine in the finest restaurants. Or pay their wives £100k a year salaries, eh Ken?
Just like 1984 - how come Orwell remained a socialist when he could see what they inevitably become?
Fresh from appointing himself President for Life (not that he was ever going to give up power, of course), Hugo 'Wanker doesn't begin to describe him' Chavez now seems to be nationalising food production.
Like that never leads to food shortages...
The people of Venezuela have my sympathies - first, they suffered under the rule of a self-interested, crooked 'elite', and now the man that claimed he would 'save' them is making things worse [This seems to remind me of someone else who claims to be a saviour, but the name somehow escapes me...].
And, to top it all, they've had to put up with visits and support from Ken 'Cronyism isn't my middle name, because I'm a cheeky chappie' Livingslime. Who, together with the usual bunch of Guardianista gobshites, thinks everything in Venezuela is hunky-dory.
When Venezuela collapses, will Ken admit he got it wrong? Or will he be like the (inexplicably popular) twat and hypocrite-par-excellence landowner, Tony Wedgewood-Benn, and claim that he was never wrong about anything? Sadly, I know where my money is...
Fuck, I hate socialists. They destroy anything that's good in life and accentuate everything that's bad. And then they claim to represent the 'workers', whilst they live in luxury hotels and dine in the finest restaurants. Or pay their wives £100k a year salaries, eh Ken?
Just like 1984 - how come Orwell remained a socialist when he could see what they inevitably become?
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Lord Ahmed the Cunt
Well, I can't believe it.
Lord Ahmed got six weeks (after parole) ina cushy four star hotel prison.
It's outrageous! I expected him to get a fully suspended sentence. After all, he's a Labour Lord - and a Muslim! They're not subject to English law - especially when it's just a white man they've killed.
Still, at least hiscunt, arsehole, dhimmi wanker, gobshite, turd of the highest order lawyer has appealed against this outrageously long sentence.
I mean, they can 'prove' that his use of a cellphone had nothing to do with the crash. I don't know how, but I believe Lord Ahmed over anyone else. Actually, it's obvious that the texting had nothing to do with the crash. After all, if you're driving at 60mph, you could never see far enough ahead on a straight road in order to stop in time. [Note to Lord A: I take it I now won't be getting a visit from 10,000 of your friends? Cheers! I mean, thanks - no, I don't drink, I mean that isn't allowed anymore.]
I hope that family members of the judge in question die in similar circumstances. Let's see if he then considers a 6 week sentence to represent 'justice'. Cunt.
Until we elect district attorneys in this country and set tougher minimum sentences, we will never get rid of the bleeding heart, Guardian-reading cunts who are responsible for this kind of nonsense.
Lord Ahmed got six weeks (after parole) in
It's outrageous! I expected him to get a fully suspended sentence. After all, he's a Labour Lord - and a Muslim! They're not subject to English law - especially when it's just a white man they've killed.
Still, at least his
I mean, they can 'prove' that his use of a cellphone had nothing to do with the crash. I don't know how, but I believe Lord Ahmed over anyone else. Actually, it's obvious that the texting had nothing to do with the crash. After all, if you're driving at 60mph, you could never see far enough ahead on a straight road in order to stop in time. [Note to Lord A: I take it I now won't be getting a visit from 10,000 of your friends? Cheers! I mean, thanks - no, I don't drink, I mean that isn't allowed anymore.]
I hope that family members of the judge in question die in similar circumstances. Let's see if he then considers a 6 week sentence to represent 'justice'. Cunt.
Until we elect district attorneys in this country and set tougher minimum sentences, we will never get rid of the bleeding heart, Guardian-reading cunts who are responsible for this kind of nonsense.
Saturday, 21 February 2009
Letter to the Stasi
Dear Jacqui,
Forgive me for writing to you twice - I felt that it was important to write to you at both of your addresses, as it is not clear to me which is your main residence.
Following the recent decision to bar Geert Wilders from the UK, I felt it necessary to warn you of the risks of creating disturbances in other communities of certain Government actions. Clearly, on receipt of this information, you will feel compelled to act, as you have done following Lord Ahmed's intervention in the Wilders case.
First, any decision to allow any Muslim preacher into the UK will result in a delegation of at least 10,000 Christians, Hindus, Jews, agnostics, atheists and Jedi marching on whichever of your addresses you are at at the time. I therefore respectfully request that you do not allow any Muslim preachers into the UK.
Second, any decision of Gordon Brown not to resign and call an immediate election will result in the same delegation marching on Downing St. Again, I therefore respectfully suggest that the Prime Mentalist resign forthwith, with a general election to follow immediately.
Third, any decision not to tell the European Court of Human 'Rights' to go forth and multiply over the case of Abu Qatada, and a failure to deport him immediately will result in the same delegation marching on the prison where he is being held and holding an impromptu hanging, with similar sized delegations (for similar purposes) marching on the Home Office and both of your residences.
Fourth, failure to prosecute members of the Labour Party for outright fraud (most notably yourself, the Cooper-Balls household, Ken Livingstone, Lee Jasper, members of the House of Lords who have been taking bribes in return for amending laws - in fact, the list seems to be endless) will result in a similar delegation marching on Parliament.
Yours faithfully,
Bishop Brennan
PS I have just been told that the right to march on Parliament and break the law is one that is reserved solely for Muslims, with additional rights reserved for those who have killed someone by reading / sending text messages whilst driving. Apologies for my error in believing that all UK citizens were equal before the law.
Forgive me for writing to you twice - I felt that it was important to write to you at both of your addresses, as it is not clear to me which is your main residence.
Following the recent decision to bar Geert Wilders from the UK, I felt it necessary to warn you of the risks of creating disturbances in other communities of certain Government actions. Clearly, on receipt of this information, you will feel compelled to act, as you have done following Lord Ahmed's intervention in the Wilders case.
First, any decision to allow any Muslim preacher into the UK will result in a delegation of at least 10,000 Christians, Hindus, Jews, agnostics, atheists and Jedi marching on whichever of your addresses you are at at the time. I therefore respectfully request that you do not allow any Muslim preachers into the UK.
Second, any decision of Gordon Brown not to resign and call an immediate election will result in the same delegation marching on Downing St. Again, I therefore respectfully suggest that the Prime Mentalist resign forthwith, with a general election to follow immediately.
Third, any decision not to tell the European Court of Human 'Rights' to go forth and multiply over the case of Abu Qatada, and a failure to deport him immediately will result in the same delegation marching on the prison where he is being held and holding an impromptu hanging, with similar sized delegations (for similar purposes) marching on the Home Office and both of your residences.
Fourth, failure to prosecute members of the Labour Party for outright fraud (most notably yourself, the Cooper-Balls household, Ken Livingstone, Lee Jasper, members of the House of Lords who have been taking bribes in return for amending laws - in fact, the list seems to be endless) will result in a similar delegation marching on Parliament.
Yours faithfully,
Bishop Brennan
PS I have just been told that the right to march on Parliament and break the law is one that is reserved solely for Muslims, with additional rights reserved for those who have killed someone by reading / sending text messages whilst driving. Apologies for my error in believing that all UK citizens were equal before the law.
Saturday, 14 February 2009
Wanker of the Week
Back by popular demand...
And today's wanker is... Derek Draper.
Primarily for this post. Presumably, 'revenge' for Guido pointing out that he didn't go to Berkeley (even though it would have been an appropriate place for him...).
Derek - fuck off you tedious, totalitarian cunt. None of the comments you cite are racist - they simply reflect reality in Brown's Britain. But, of course, socialists have always shouted, 'Racist!' at anyone with whom they disagree.
But racist comments like 'British jobs for British workers' are, of course, OK if they are uttered by socialist cunts like Gordon the Moron.
Anyway, given that Guido has apparently deleted the non-racist comments, I'm more than happy for any reader to leave similar ones on this blog. As a reminder, this is the picture:
And, Derek, keep your totalitarian shit on LabourShite - there's no room for it in the rest of the blogosphere.
Honestly, you'd think he had better things to worry about, like his mental boss, who's taking the country down the toilet - or just shagging his wife (after all, we all know the risks of not keeping your spouse happy in bed...).
And today's wanker is... Derek Draper.
Primarily for this post. Presumably, 'revenge' for Guido pointing out that he didn't go to Berkeley (even though it would have been an appropriate place for him...).
Derek - fuck off you tedious, totalitarian cunt. None of the comments you cite are racist - they simply reflect reality in Brown's Britain. But, of course, socialists have always shouted, 'Racist!' at anyone with whom they disagree.
But racist comments like 'British jobs for British workers' are, of course, OK if they are uttered by socialist cunts like Gordon the Moron.
Anyway, given that Guido has apparently deleted the non-racist comments, I'm more than happy for any reader to leave similar ones on this blog. As a reminder, this is the picture:
And, Derek, keep your totalitarian shit on LabourShite - there's no room for it in the rest of the blogosphere.
Honestly, you'd think he had better things to worry about, like his mental boss, who's taking the country down the toilet - or just shagging his wife (after all, we all know the risks of not keeping your spouse happy in bed...).
Sunday, 1 February 2009
The rise of the pleblic*
*Term coined by The Filthy Smoker, commenting on Devil's Kitchen.
Well, the signs have been there for some time... England's white, 'working' classes are rising up in support of 'British jobs for British workers'.
And, whilst Mandy Pandy tries to stand up for Free Trade and against protectionism (as, to be fair, he did in Brussels, pissing off the French - well, the man can't be all bad!), the reality is that it is his party, the Prime Mentalist that he is supporting, the economic policy which he has supported all along, the EU policy which he has helped implement as well as supported, the adoption of an effective open border policy to immigrants and the rejection of policies to reduce the power of trade unions that are responsible for the rising tide of union action that we're seeing now.
Frank Field - one of the few Labour MPs that I have any time for - writes today about the consequences of the open doors policy in particular - and the stupidity of the 'British jobs for British workers' soundbite that the Great Gobshite in Downing St used a few months ago. Whilst the article is flawed - not least in its call for Splash Gordon to actually adopt a position of British jobs for British workers - it shows the sheer alarm in the Labour Party about the loss of their core supporters and the concommitant rise of the BNP - Labour voters are switching to them, illustrating that they are a left-wing party, not a right-wing one, no matter what idiots on Liberal Conspiracy try to claim...
But is it the 'white, working class' who should be angry - or those of us who have seen our taxes pissed down the toilet (strange and incongruous, I know, given this week's stories that suggest that Gordo can't actually manage to get to the toilet...) by this useless, ideologically-driven Government? Note - they're not just incompetent. They are deliberately fucking our country up.
One example: schools. Because they can't even get schools to teach our kids to read, write and count, they've given up. Instead, schools are to become a core part of 'children's services' policies to tackle 'inequality' - not, as Grammar schools used to, by teaching them useful skills and knowledge, but by telling them that it's not their fault if they don't learn... even if it's because they're fucking lazy bastards. Don't believe me? Have a look at 21st Century Schools: A World-Class Education for Every Child / A School Report Card. It simply beggars belief.
And some people actually thought Brown would be better than Blair. Although, to be fair (and to borrow a phrase), this isn't Brown, it's Balls.
Not enough for you? How about this from Thursday's Times:
Now, how the fuck, after a boom lasting 15 years or so, are there 4.5 million people on the waiting list for social housing?! Are there that many useless Brits? Probably... Or is it that we have imported 4.5 million people from Poland, Ukraine, Brazil, Pakistan, Nigeria, etc. - well, they all seem to live near me, in my rapidly-depreciating tiny flat in Chav-ville. But weren't we told that these people were generating an economic benefit? So it 'can't' be them!
And what about our wonderfully generous benefits system - generous, that is, to frauds, cheats, liars and other scumbugs (strange that this also fits the description of most members of Parliament...), but not if you are old and need social care, having paid taxes for others' care throughout your working life. Or you've become unemployed in your 50s, after paying taxes all your working life. Just have a look at Ms Snuffy's, errr, heart-warming modern day story about a benefits scam, albeit one perpetrated by an Indian family, rather than by white trash.
So, I ask. What have the striking twats got to strike about?
- They largely voted for this Government of all the Gobshites - or at least funded it, given their membership of Trade Unions like Unite.
- It is the middle classes that are paying for them and their families. The 'poor' cheat the benefits system and / or don't earn enough, whilst the truly rich can get around paying tax. The sods in the middle get (financially) fisted by Gay Gordon and his merry band of cunts.
- They've priced themselves out of the labour market by demanding wages and benefits (wages in all but name) which are out of kilter with their productivity.
It is people like me, who've been paying for all this shite - and will pay for it in the future (although I can move abroad and escape) - who should be going on strike and protesting in the street. Not BNP-voting muppets who believed that Gordon the Moron was some kind of economic genius...
Well, the signs have been there for some time... England's white, 'working' classes are rising up in support of 'British jobs for British workers'.
And, whilst Mandy Pandy tries to stand up for Free Trade and against protectionism (as, to be fair, he did in Brussels, pissing off the French - well, the man can't be all bad!), the reality is that it is his party, the Prime Mentalist that he is supporting, the economic policy which he has supported all along, the EU policy which he has helped implement as well as supported, the adoption of an effective open border policy to immigrants and the rejection of policies to reduce the power of trade unions that are responsible for the rising tide of union action that we're seeing now.
Frank Field - one of the few Labour MPs that I have any time for - writes today about the consequences of the open doors policy in particular - and the stupidity of the 'British jobs for British workers' soundbite that the Great Gobshite in Downing St used a few months ago. Whilst the article is flawed - not least in its call for Splash Gordon to actually adopt a position of British jobs for British workers - it shows the sheer alarm in the Labour Party about the loss of their core supporters and the concommitant rise of the BNP - Labour voters are switching to them, illustrating that they are a left-wing party, not a right-wing one, no matter what idiots on Liberal Conspiracy try to claim...
But is it the 'white, working class' who should be angry - or those of us who have seen our taxes pissed down the toilet (strange and incongruous, I know, given this week's stories that suggest that Gordo can't actually manage to get to the toilet...) by this useless, ideologically-driven Government? Note - they're not just incompetent. They are deliberately fucking our country up.
One example: schools. Because they can't even get schools to teach our kids to read, write and count, they've given up. Instead, schools are to become a core part of 'children's services' policies to tackle 'inequality' - not, as Grammar schools used to, by teaching them useful skills and knowledge, but by telling them that it's not their fault if they don't learn... even if it's because they're fucking lazy bastards. Don't believe me? Have a look at 21st Century Schools: A World-Class Education for Every Child / A School Report Card. It simply beggars belief.
And some people actually thought Brown would be better than Blair. Although, to be fair (and to borrow a phrase), this isn't Brown, it's Balls.
Not enough for you? How about this from Thursday's Times:
There have been intense discussions on Labour’s National Executive Committee about how to help the 4.5 million people waiting for social housing and to get the construction industry back to work, The Times has learnt.
Now, how the fuck, after a boom lasting 15 years or so, are there 4.5 million people on the waiting list for social housing?! Are there that many useless Brits? Probably... Or is it that we have imported 4.5 million people from Poland, Ukraine, Brazil, Pakistan, Nigeria, etc. - well, they all seem to live near me, in my rapidly-depreciating tiny flat in Chav-ville. But weren't we told that these people were generating an economic benefit? So it 'can't' be them!
And what about our wonderfully generous benefits system - generous, that is, to frauds, cheats, liars and other scumbugs (strange that this also fits the description of most members of Parliament...), but not if you are old and need social care, having paid taxes for others' care throughout your working life. Or you've become unemployed in your 50s, after paying taxes all your working life. Just have a look at Ms Snuffy's, errr, heart-warming modern day story about a benefits scam, albeit one perpetrated by an Indian family, rather than by white trash.
So, I ask. What have the striking twats got to strike about?
- They largely voted for this Government of all the Gobshites - or at least funded it, given their membership of Trade Unions like Unite.
- It is the middle classes that are paying for them and their families. The 'poor' cheat the benefits system and / or don't earn enough, whilst the truly rich can get around paying tax. The sods in the middle get (financially) fisted by Gay Gordon and his merry band of cunts.
- They've priced themselves out of the labour market by demanding wages and benefits (wages in all but name) which are out of kilter with their productivity.
It is people like me, who've been paying for all this shite - and will pay for it in the future (although I can move abroad and escape) - who should be going on strike and protesting in the street. Not BNP-voting muppets who believed that Gordon the Moron was some kind of economic genius...
Friday, 23 January 2009
Fake charities
An eagle-eyed reader may have noticed that Devil's Kitchen has launched the fakecharities.org website, after yet another 'charity' was revealed to be nothing of the sort, but rather a front for the Government to claim popular support for imposing yet more illiberal legislation on us.
Like the Devil, I am thoroughly pissed-off with this state of affairs - it's bad enough that businesses do this (see, e.g. The Truth About Drug Companies for examples of how Big Pharma uses charities to persuade the sheeple to lobby for ineffective drugs, like Herceptin for early stage breast cancer). But now the illiberal cunts in Government are using the same dirty tricks, cunts that they are.
So I have volunteered to help this noble cause. And I urge you to do the same.
My first contribution: some FoI requests:
And:
Etc........
Let's see if the cunts respond with some answers, or dodgy excuses... Not holding my breath...
PS I see the Devil is talking about the alcohol 'limits' which some 'scientists' invented in the 1980s, and which Government uses 'charities' - and dumbass 'liberal' democrat MPs - to promote. Did you know that they also made up '5 a day' - apparently, it's actually 3 a day.
Update: All Depts have promised to respond within 20 days, other than HM Treasury...
Like the Devil, I am thoroughly pissed-off with this state of affairs - it's bad enough that businesses do this (see, e.g. The Truth About Drug Companies for examples of how Big Pharma uses charities to persuade the sheeple to lobby for ineffective drugs, like Herceptin for early stage breast cancer). But now the illiberal cunts in Government are using the same dirty tricks, cunts that they are.
So I have volunteered to help this noble cause. And I urge you to do the same.
My first contribution: some FoI requests:
To: info@dcsf.gsi.gov.uk
Dear Sir / Madam,
I am writing to make a request under the Freedom of Information Act.
I would be grateful if you could let me know which charities received funding from the DCSF and its agencies:
- In 2008; and
- In 2007.
Yours sincerely,
Paul Brennan
To: dhmail@dh.gsi.gov.uk
Dear Sir / Madam,
I am writing to make a request under the Freedom of Information Act.
I would be grateful if you could let me know which charities received funding from the Department of Health and its agencies:
- In 2008; and
- In 2007.
Yours sincerely,
Paul Brennan
And:
To: public.enquiries@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk
Dear Sir / Madam,
I am writing to make a request under the Freedom of Information Act.
I would be grateful if you could let me know which charities received funding from the Home Office and its agencies:
- In 2008; and
- In 2007.
Yours sincerely,
Paul Brennan
Etc........
Let's see if the cunts respond with some answers, or dodgy excuses... Not holding my breath...
PS I see the Devil is talking about the alcohol 'limits' which some 'scientists' invented in the 1980s, and which Government uses 'charities' - and dumbass 'liberal' democrat MPs - to promote. Did you know that they also made up '5 a day' - apparently, it's actually 3 a day.
Update: All Depts have promised to respond within 20 days, other than HM Treasury...
Monday, 12 January 2009
Oh. My. God.
As you probably know, the Devil already has a blog. But, in that case, it's clearly not the Devil in the evil - Satanic, Beelzebub - sense
Now, however - via one of DK's Anonymous disciples - it seems that Satan - the real one - has learned the art of seeking to spread his poison online.
Some of you may remember Rory Bremner's avatar of Peter Mandelson on his C4 show (well, C4 has to be useful for something...). I thought it was funny.
Now I'm not so sure...
Is nowhere safe from these bastards?
Citizens of Second Life - prepare yourselves for:
Please, God - what did we do? :-(
Now, however - via one of DK's Anonymous disciples - it seems that Satan - the real one - has learned the art of seeking to spread his poison online.
Some of you may remember Rory Bremner's avatar of Peter Mandelson on his C4 show (well, C4 has to be useful for something...). I thought it was funny.
Now I'm not so sure...
Is nowhere safe from these bastards?
Citizens of Second Life - prepare yourselves for:
- Eye-watering levels of virtual taxation and government debt
- Monitoring of all your online activities.
- Harriet Harman stopping any sexual fantasies (unless they involve ugly women only)
- Virtual imprisonment / hanging for smoking or speeding offences; rewards for committing anything previously regarded as criminal
- 'Losing' your data so that it can be used by criminals
- A financial crisis that 'began in America' but hits the UK worse than anywhere else, for reasons that can't be explained, other than by some vague reference to potential other governments being 'do-nothing' organisations
- Gulags for anyone that doesn't repeat, parrot-style, everything that the Mandelson avatar says
- A Second Life Broadcasting Corporation - funded by compulsory taxation - which features such 'balanced' reporters as 'Toilets' Macguire and 'Toenails' Robinson
- Free inside information for a Robert Peston avatar
- All-in-all, a virtual USSR - a model for the UK if Labour win the next election.
Please, God - what did we do? :-(
The bishop is back... and angry as ever!
Dear Reader
Apologies for the absence of posts recently - I've been enjoying a (well-earned?) holiday.
I gather that I'm not the only one... Mandy Pandy has apparently been spotted in Marrakech (incidentally, not his first time there...). Some of Guido's co-conspirators have even suggested that he might have been enjoying some of the, ahem, adult entertainment that Marrakech offers.
Well, clearly the Bishop isn't in a position to judge the truth of the matter - nor, as a libertarian, does he care if Mandy or anyone else indulges in such activities, provided they involve consenting adults. But, if this was what Mandy was doing, and givenHarriet Harperson's Jacqui Smith's new law which will insist that clients check prostitutes' ages and that they aren't trafficked, perhaps Mandy could let us know whether he took similar precautions in North Africa, and how he ensured that he was told the truth?
Or, as anyone outside the Labour Party knows, will the legislation not work? There was an excellent article by Hannah Fletcher and Claudia Fromme in the Times on this, back in November. In particular, it points to experience in Finland, where, 'Since [similar] legislation came into effect, there has not been one single prosecution', because it is impossible to prove 'beyond reasonable doubt' that a client knew that a prostitute was trafficked.
Perhaps this is all part of Labour's ongoing attempts to turn England into a police state? The failure of the legislation will mean that 'beyond reasonable doubt', the backbone of a fair and just legal system for centuries, will be changed - no doubt, to 'if you support Labour, you're a victim and we'll pay you vast amounts of taxpayers' money, and, if not, you're an evil criminal who doesn't understand social justice, and we'll send you to the gulag'.
Perhaps the Prime Mentalist is more like Stalin than Mr Bean, after all?
Getting back to the subject in hand, I think it is worth reflecting on some of what the article says in detail...
Wow! The police being sensible? Perhaps Inspector Gadget despairs too much? Although it is an ex-copper talking... And they probably should go after the people traffickers....
Nicky Adams, a spokeswoman (NB not 'spokesperson' - naughty, naughty!) for the English Collective of Prostitutes (NB note that 'union' seems to be a dirty word here - perhaps this explains Labour's hatred for them?), adds:
But, as Harperson argues, isn't prostitution just, well, wrong? If women demean themselves by being prostitutes, why should we want them to be protected? After all, if we can get murder and rape figures up, then we can put all men (the raping bastards!) in prison and have a much better world! And we don't want any pretty Eastern European women here, showing how ugly many British women are! After all, how's a girl to get a girlfriend against that sort of competition?
If only women would simply look and dress like Harriet or our dear Jacqui (especially in her knife-proof vest, and with her protection squad, vital for any Labour Minister given what they've done to this country), then no man would want to fuck them! And then there would be no prostitution.
Except for rent boys in Marrakech, accessible only to senior Labour Ministers. Nothing wrong with that - after all, gay and Labour, now that's a minority group that deserves the full protection of the law...
Apologies for the absence of posts recently - I've been enjoying a (well-earned?) holiday.
I gather that I'm not the only one... Mandy Pandy has apparently been spotted in Marrakech (incidentally, not his first time there...). Some of Guido's co-conspirators have even suggested that he might have been enjoying some of the, ahem, adult entertainment that Marrakech offers.
Well, clearly the Bishop isn't in a position to judge the truth of the matter - nor, as a libertarian, does he care if Mandy or anyone else indulges in such activities, provided they involve consenting adults. But, if this was what Mandy was doing, and given
Or, as anyone outside the Labour Party knows, will the legislation not work? There was an excellent article by Hannah Fletcher and Claudia Fromme in the Times on this, back in November. In particular, it points to experience in Finland, where, 'Since [similar] legislation came into effect, there has not been one single prosecution', because it is impossible to prove 'beyond reasonable doubt' that a client knew that a prostitute was trafficked.
Perhaps this is all part of Labour's ongoing attempts to turn England into a police state? The failure of the legislation will mean that 'beyond reasonable doubt', the backbone of a fair and just legal system for centuries, will be changed - no doubt, to 'if you support Labour, you're a victim and we'll pay you vast amounts of taxpayers' money, and, if not, you're an evil criminal who doesn't understand social justice, and we'll send you to the gulag'.
Perhaps the Prime Mentalist is more like Stalin than Mr Bean, after all?
Getting back to the subject in hand, I think it is worth reflecting on some of what the article says in detail...
When Richard Gere picked up Julia Roberts in his Lotus Esprit in Pretty Woman, it was the start of a great Hollywood romance. The classic prostitute with a heart of gold, she was transformed almost instantly into a glamous sex kitten, equally at home shopping on Rodeo Drive, decorating his arm at the opera in San Francisco or stamping the divots at a polo match. And, of course, there was a fairytale ending in which the corporate prince rescued the fair maiden as she promised to “rescue him right back”.Well, yeah. I mean, does anyone seriously think that prostitution is glamorous? Pretty Woman is a shit film, and hardly compares to reality (for a start, Richard Gere [edited for legal purposes! ;-)]). Seriously... (I guess they had to do this, as such sensationalisation seems to be a requirment even for broadsheet journalists these days... But forgive them - the rest of the article is unusually balanced and fair).But if an English Gere — perhaps a hedge-fund manager trying to find Notting Hill in the dark — attempted a similar stunt in the brave new world of Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, he wouldn't be handing out strawberries in the hotel penthouse but having his mugshot taken at the nearest police station.
Andy Hayman, former assistant commissioner of the Metropolitan Police, thinks that the new proposals are ludicrous. “The police have so many other priorities, such as knife crime,” he says. “They don't want to hound prostitutes who obviously need the money, or their clients, unless they are causing serious problems.“What these women need is help. Many of them are drug addicts or behind with their rent; they already have criminal convictions so they can't find another job. They don't need to be forced farther underground. Most are already very co-operative, and they are great informers. Coppers will ignore this one.”
Wow! The police being sensible? Perhaps Inspector Gadget despairs too much? Although it is an ex-copper talking... And they probably should go after the people traffickers....
"This is an disaster for many working women,” says Virginia (not her real name), who works in a sex parlour in southeast England that is run by a middle-aged couple. “These measures will make our jobs far more dangerous. The couple I work for are not pimps, they check my clients and make sure I'm safe. The sex between my client and myself is a consensual act.”
Nicky Adams, a spokeswoman (NB not 'spokesperson' - naughty, naughty!) for the English Collective of Prostitutes (NB note that 'union' seems to be a dirty word here - perhaps this explains Labour's hatred for them?), adds:
...prostitutes are now terrified of ending up with the most unscrupulous pimps. “All this will do is hound the decent parlour owners. The Government is trying to take the moral high ground but it's a low blow for women who are struggling to make ends meet, whether they are from Croydon or Croatia.”
But, as Harperson argues, isn't prostitution just, well, wrong? If women demean themselves by being prostitutes, why should we want them to be protected? After all, if we can get murder and rape figures up, then we can put all men (the raping bastards!) in prison and have a much better world! And we don't want any pretty Eastern European women here, showing how ugly many British women are! After all, how's a girl to get a girlfriend against that sort of competition?
If only women would simply look and dress like Harriet or our dear Jacqui (especially in her knife-proof vest, and with her protection squad, vital for any Labour Minister given what they've done to this country), then no man would want to fuck them! And then there would be no prostitution.
Except for rent boys in Marrakech, accessible only to senior Labour Ministers. Nothing wrong with that - after all, gay and Labour, now that's a minority group that deserves the full protection of the law...
Sunday, 28 December 2008
First Predictions for 2009
Well, it's that time of year when we make foolish predictions about 2009. And they don't come much more foolish than those made by our friends at the Treasury - return to economic growth by the autumn, public borrowing of 'only' £120bn in fiscal year 2009/10 (excluding Northern Rock, Land Rover, etc., etc.....)...
And what of the likely reality? Well, here's a go...
1. With the UK economy going down the toilet, Brown calls early election on back of his bounce in the polls. Tories fail to provide proper alternative, saying that they won't cut spending to cut taxes and that 'rolling back the state isn't an option'. Muppets vote Brown back in.
2. Run on the Pound (even more than already) - how about £1 = 0.75 Euro?
3. UK can't refinance all of its debts as well as new borrowing. IMF called in.
4. UK economy completely fucked.
I think that about sums it up. Time for everyone who can to leave for the exit...
OR...
1. Cameron comes to his senses and makes the Tories a low tax party; or luck intervenes (seems more likely...) and the IMF are called in before Brown dares hold an election.
2. IMF forces 'savage' (all of 10%) cuts in UK spending in return for structural adjustment lending. Surprise, surprise - the sun doesn't fall out of the sky and the world goes on...
And this is the point. Although a recession will be painful - no foreign holidays for some (oh, the pain, the pain...) and no job for others (but they're in the private sector, so this is good news for our Labour Masters - more welfare clients...) - it may force the changes that the UK needs:
But I needed to get it off my chest.
And 2009 may turn out to be not be so bad after all... but the start of something good.
And what of the likely reality? Well, here's a go...
1. With the UK economy going down the toilet, Brown calls early election on back of his bounce in the polls. Tories fail to provide proper alternative, saying that they won't cut spending to cut taxes and that 'rolling back the state isn't an option'. Muppets vote Brown back in.
2. Run on the Pound (even more than already) - how about £1 = 0.75 Euro?
3. UK can't refinance all of its debts as well as new borrowing. IMF called in.
4. UK economy completely fucked.
I think that about sums it up. Time for everyone who can to leave for the exit...
OR...
1. Cameron comes to his senses and makes the Tories a low tax party; or luck intervenes (seems more likely...) and the IMF are called in before Brown dares hold an election.
2. IMF forces 'savage' (all of 10%) cuts in UK spending in return for structural adjustment lending. Surprise, surprise - the sun doesn't fall out of the sky and the world goes on...
And this is the point. Although a recession will be painful - no foreign holidays for some (oh, the pain, the pain...) and no job for others (but they're in the private sector, so this is good news for our Labour Masters - more welfare clients...) - it may force the changes that the UK needs:
- It will be pretty easy to squeeze health spending by 10% - just cut the national tariff which determines prices. Together with wage freezes for the doctors who have done rather nicely under Labour (43% of additional health spending under Labour has gone on wage increases). Let's end the fiction of an NHS dental service (other countries leave it to the private sector - lightly regulated to prevent abuse of market power). A lot of public health spending can be cut without affecting health - e.g. anti-alcohol and 5-a-day campaigns.
- Cut down on wasteful spending. That means abolishing the Dept of Timewasting & Interfering (now called 'BERR' for some pathetic reason). It means no more 'lesbian co-ordinators' and the like, a ban on outside consultants being paid more than their civil service equivalents without specific sign-off by a Secretary of State (making them accountable for showing VfM) fewer special advisors, a hiring freeze across Whitehall and the rest of the public sector (with the exception of those who can show that they will generate cash savings, e.g. people who know how not to get ripped off buying IT services), wage cuts outside London to reflect the true difference in the cost of living rather than one that's made up, no more new furniture and IT kit at the end of the financial year, etc. And the House of Commons can show it's sharing the nation's pain by taking a 10% wage and allowance cut and losing its drinks subsidies. It's symbolic, y'know...
- All civil servants to be required to suggest a way of saving money in their area in order to receive a higher box marking, be eligible for future promotion and avoid a pay cut - we need to encourage a culture where efficiency is the norm, not the exception. Suggestions to be published, so that senior civil servants and Ministers can be held to account if they block their implementation.
- Abolish tax credits - whether for 'working families' (just cut taxes) or for R&D (ditto). Simplify tax system, introducing flat tax. Measures together will save billions in Revenue & Customs salaries, fraud / overpayment and firms having to spend much less on their tax returns.
- Scotland, Wales & Northern Ireland to receive same per capita spend as regions of England with equivalent levels of GDP per head. If they want more, they'll have to pay more tax. We can also save some money by reducing the number of MPs from those areas to reflect their population size and the fact that Gov't is devolved...
- Unilateral UK withdrawal from the Common Agricultural Policy, together with the concommitant cut in the UK's EU budget contributions. We gave up our rebate for nothing - now we'll get something. :-)
- Prison spending to be held steady - 2 at least to a cell (Human Rights Act to be disapplied to criminals), no more playstations, day trips for feral youths, etc. will fund new prison places.
- All existing Gov't funding for the Turd Sector / Charities to be ended. If they want to campaign against Gov't policies, they'll have to find private individuals to fund them. Those who want to implement (new, tougher) Gov't policy and can produce credible plans for doing so, can bid for funding against cr&p public sector authorities such as Haringey.
- DFID's budget to be cut. It's stupid for the UK to borrow money it can't afford to pay for corruption in the developing world. Spending that remains only to be given to countries that help themselves by adopting sensible policies. But as we're no longer in the CAP, they can export their farm produce to us without restriction (helping them and us - lower food prices for us, more secure markets for them).
- No national ID scheme (a bigger waste of money than David Bentley...). Olympics to be given to Paris.
- Education spending to be slightly cut by abolishing LEAs and ending nonsense like payments to students to do A levels. Vouchers to be introduced across the board to drive competition a la Sweden. I'm sure there's loads more that could be done - quality hasn't gone up with spending over the last decade...
- Defra and MoD to lose all industrial policy responsibilities and spending. No money to be directed towards the countryside over-and-above spending elsewhere - the cost of living is higher in cities, so why should taxpayers there subsidise those who live in the country?!
- Scrap RDAs - another complete waste of money.
- Police targets to be abolished. Local police chiefs elected - if they don't deliver real cuts in crime, they'll get voted out. All the bureaucracy introduced over the last 30 years to be at least halved.
- End welfare as a way of life (TM). Anyone that claims benefits fraudulently will lose entitlement to benefits permanently (and fuck anyone that says, 'but what about the chiiiiildreeeeeen?'). Anyone on benefits will not receive extra benefits for having more children. Nor extra housing. No-one under 25 to receive a council flat / house - that might encourage some responsibility... With tax thresholds massively increased, there will be no excuse not to work if you can - I don't care if that means cleaning the streets or public toilets (which are so disgusting that they can only be carrying large numbers of vacancies).
But I needed to get it off my chest.
And 2009 may turn out to be not be so bad after all... but the start of something good.
Saturday, 27 December 2008
Wanker of the Week - Christmas special
Dear Reader,
A very belated Merry Christmas to you.
The Bishop had a wonderful family Christmas - made all the more wonderful by the news about Harold Pinto. I celebrated with a special bottle of communion wine from my friends at Ridge Wines. [And, no, I don't get paid to endorse them - they're just the best wines in the world, in my humble opinion.]
However, the Christmas day festivities were interrupted by a 'special' edition of Top of the Pops, which featured Leona Lewis mauling (given her Aslan-like looks - and, no, that wasn't intended as a compliment - a good choice of word, methinks) the wonderful Snow Patrol song, Run.
Now, the Bishop isn't particularly wivvit, innit when it comes to the X-Factor and other shite beamed into the Sheeple's living rooms, 1984-style, by ITV and the BBC (yet another reason to rip up my TV licence and tell them to fuck off, as if I needed one...). But I have not only heard Run being farted out by Leona Fat-Arse as previously mentioned, but also Leonard Cohen's wonderful Halleluja being vomited out by some other piece of choir-fodder, who, I am told, rejoices in the name 'Burke'. How appropriate.
Well, I could make these two transexual wannabes my joint Wankers of the Week. And it's not that they don't merit it - fame-hungry, money-grubbing chav-fodder that they are. It's just that, well...
There is a cunt of the highest order that has for many years produced this kind of junk music, aimed at teenage girls and their mothers / grandmothers, all in the name of making money. Not that there's anything wrong with making money. But the Bishop wouldn't choose to do so by trafficking women from Eastern Europe to work as prostitutes, say, or by selling weapons to Hugo Chavez. And crimes against music are - to these ears, at least - pretty much on a par with such reprehensible activities...
And his name is Simon Cowell. The man who gave us Sinitta and Grease is the word (where is the puking smiley when you need it? Ah... here -
).
And. He's. A. Cunt. A Christmas Wanker if ever I saw one.
So, Simon, go fuck yourself right up the arse with the longest bargepole in history. And when you die, I hope your own personal Hell is to be forced to listen to Sinitta et al for eternity. And that might, just might make us even.
In the meantime, I will give you a tiny taste - although probably not nearly as minuscule as your cock must be, given how you obsessed you are with fame, money and all that they bring at the expense of taste, family and love (what else would explain his sense of inadequacy?) - of what I think about you by making you the first Christmas Wanker of the Week.
A very belated Merry Christmas to you.
The Bishop had a wonderful family Christmas - made all the more wonderful by the news about Harold Pinto. I celebrated with a special bottle of communion wine from my friends at Ridge Wines. [And, no, I don't get paid to endorse them - they're just the best wines in the world, in my humble opinion.]
However, the Christmas day festivities were interrupted by a 'special' edition of Top of the Pops, which featured Leona Lewis mauling (given her Aslan-like looks - and, no, that wasn't intended as a compliment - a good choice of word, methinks) the wonderful Snow Patrol song, Run.
Now, the Bishop isn't particularly wivvit, innit when it comes to the X-Factor and other shite beamed into the Sheeple's living rooms, 1984-style, by ITV and the BBC (yet another reason to rip up my TV licence and tell them to fuck off, as if I needed one...). But I have not only heard Run being farted out by Leona Fat-Arse as previously mentioned, but also Leonard Cohen's wonderful Halleluja being vomited out by some other piece of choir-fodder, who, I am told, rejoices in the name 'Burke'. How appropriate.
Well, I could make these two transexual wannabes my joint Wankers of the Week. And it's not that they don't merit it - fame-hungry, money-grubbing chav-fodder that they are. It's just that, well...
There is a cunt of the highest order that has for many years produced this kind of junk music, aimed at teenage girls and their mothers / grandmothers, all in the name of making money. Not that there's anything wrong with making money. But the Bishop wouldn't choose to do so by trafficking women from Eastern Europe to work as prostitutes, say, or by selling weapons to Hugo Chavez. And crimes against music are - to these ears, at least - pretty much on a par with such reprehensible activities...
And his name is Simon Cowell. The man who gave us Sinitta and Grease is the word (where is the puking smiley when you need it? Ah... here -
).And. He's. A. Cunt. A Christmas Wanker if ever I saw one.
So, Simon, go fuck yourself right up the arse with the longest bargepole in history. And when you die, I hope your own personal Hell is to be forced to listen to Sinitta et al for eternity. And that might, just might make us even.
In the meantime, I will give you a tiny taste - although probably not nearly as minuscule as your cock must be, given how you obsessed you are with fame, money and all that they bring at the expense of taste, family and love (what else would explain his sense of inadequacy?) - of what I think about you by making you the first Christmas Wanker of the Week.
Thursday, 18 December 2008
Wanker of the Week
What kind of cunt thinks that a murderer is a hero, an icon, someone we should look up to?
Not many people are that stupid.
But those that are - well, they usually vote Labour... or their equivalents abroad.
And the Nameless Libertarian and the Devil have identified a particular arsehole of the species. The name's del Toro. Merda del Toro. Or, at least, that's what kids at school called him...
And he's a complete cunt. As are all the feeble-minded sheeple who wear 'Che' t-shirts. Or listen to the opinions of actors as if they are some breed of geniuses, simply because they pretend to be other people in films.
So, del Toro - you're my Wanker of the Week.
And you're joined by anyone that thinks that celebrities' opinions are somehow something that others should take notice of, just because they are celebrities. Yes, Gordon 'end of spin' Brown - that means you, too. Cunt.
Not many people are that stupid.
But those that are - well, they usually vote Labour... or their equivalents abroad.
And the Nameless Libertarian and the Devil have identified a particular arsehole of the species. The name's del Toro. Merda del Toro. Or, at least, that's what kids at school called him...
And he's a complete cunt. As are all the feeble-minded sheeple who wear 'Che' t-shirts. Or listen to the opinions of actors as if they are some breed of geniuses, simply because they pretend to be other people in films.
So, del Toro - you're my Wanker of the Week.
And you're joined by anyone that thinks that celebrities' opinions are somehow something that others should take notice of, just because they are celebrities. Yes, Gordon 'end of spin' Brown - that means you, too. Cunt.
Saturday, 6 December 2008
Wanker of the Week
Well, it's been a while. And so many candidates!
- All BBC employees (as per every week - too easy)
- All civil servants (except that bloke at the Home Office who's been helping Damien Green. Do the others all support Gordon the Moron?!)
- Social workers from Haringey and wherever it is Oop North where Shannon Matthews lives
- Michael Martin
But the Bishop has decided not to target the usual suspects - at least, as left-wing 'liberals' (i.e. socialists - who are anything but liberal) would stereotype them.
...
Had you for a second!
Of course, it's Michael Martin.
Should never have been a Speaker - like his fellow Scottish MPs, he has no appreciation for the importance of Parliament to English freedoms. And he's too thick.
And no, I don't give a fuck about his background - his Catholicism (obviously...), his metal-bashing career (I bet he was shit at that too!), his trade-unionism (although that's usually a giveaway for stupidity and selfishness - nothing must ever change in case someone might have to change jobs), or even the fact that he joined a Party that has infantilised Scotland and now the rest of the UK, all in the name of staying in power for no apparent purpose other than to stick its collective snout in the trough.
He isn't up to the job. Simple. And if he had any shred of decency or honour, he would resign.
But he's a wanker who is addicted to the perks of power. And that's why he's my Wanker of the Week.
- All BBC employees (as per every week - too easy)
- All civil servants (except that bloke at the Home Office who's been helping Damien Green. Do the others all support Gordon the Moron?!)
- Social workers from Haringey and wherever it is Oop North where Shannon Matthews lives
- Michael Martin
But the Bishop has decided not to target the usual suspects - at least, as left-wing 'liberals' (i.e. socialists - who are anything but liberal) would stereotype them.
...
Had you for a second!
Of course, it's Michael Martin.
Should never have been a Speaker - like his fellow Scottish MPs, he has no appreciation for the importance of Parliament to English freedoms. And he's too thick.
And no, I don't give a fuck about his background - his Catholicism (obviously...), his metal-bashing career (I bet he was shit at that too!), his trade-unionism (although that's usually a giveaway for stupidity and selfishness - nothing must ever change in case someone might have to change jobs), or even the fact that he joined a Party that has infantilised Scotland and now the rest of the UK, all in the name of staying in power for no apparent purpose other than to stick its collective snout in the trough.
He isn't up to the job. Simple. And if he had any shred of decency or honour, he would resign.
But he's a wanker who is addicted to the perks of power. And that's why he's my Wanker of the Week.
Why Gordon wants to replicate Mugabenomics
To his shame, the Bishop was struck not only be the sheer horror and awfulness of the latest news from Zimbabwe about cholera, but also by an unpleasant thought about what Gordon the Moron might have in store for the UK.
As many others have pointed out the similarities between events in Zimbabwe and those in the UK recently, I won't waste your time repeating them. But the question many have asked is why. Why would Gordon want to do this to us?
Well, some suggestions include:
- He's mental. Well, duurrrrr! But to suggest that another mentally-challenged PM would wreck the UK's economy deliberately is, I feel, unfair. After all, John Major thought Edwina Currie was attractive. And yet the economy did relatively well under his government - after White Wednesday, that is.
- He thinks that Brits are more likely to vote for him if there's a crisis. There are enough apparent morons who would do this, if the polls are to be believed - who the fuck would vote for Labour after the last 11 years? Well, 30% + of the population, apparently! Hmmmm, a great argument for democracy... not.
- He hates the Tories so much that he's willing to do anything to hurt them - including destroying the country by laying waste to our economy. This was the Bishop's favourite explanation for his decision to follow Mugabe's example.
However, the latest from Zim suggests a more fundamental reason.
A Sky News broadcast this week showed Zimbabweans in hospital in South Africa, being treated for cholera.
Apart from the obvious suffering, one thing that was slightly alarming was the bright green adult nappies which many of the patients were wearing.
And then the Bishop remembered the story about Gordon's nursery-based activities.
And, suddenly, there was light - if the UK follows Zimbabwe into a cholera-ridden hell, then it will become 'normal' to wear adult nappies. And Gordon will then - at least in his own warped, sick mind - be 'normal' too.
As many others have pointed out the similarities between events in Zimbabwe and those in the UK recently, I won't waste your time repeating them. But the question many have asked is why. Why would Gordon want to do this to us?
Well, some suggestions include:
- He's mental. Well, duurrrrr! But to suggest that another mentally-challenged PM would wreck the UK's economy deliberately is, I feel, unfair. After all, John Major thought Edwina Currie was attractive. And yet the economy did relatively well under his government - after White Wednesday, that is.
- He thinks that Brits are more likely to vote for him if there's a crisis. There are enough apparent morons who would do this, if the polls are to be believed - who the fuck would vote for Labour after the last 11 years? Well, 30% + of the population, apparently! Hmmmm, a great argument for democracy... not.
- He hates the Tories so much that he's willing to do anything to hurt them - including destroying the country by laying waste to our economy. This was the Bishop's favourite explanation for his decision to follow Mugabe's example.
However, the latest from Zim suggests a more fundamental reason.
A Sky News broadcast this week showed Zimbabweans in hospital in South Africa, being treated for cholera.
Apart from the obvious suffering, one thing that was slightly alarming was the bright green adult nappies which many of the patients were wearing.
And then the Bishop remembered the story about Gordon's nursery-based activities.
And, suddenly, there was light - if the UK follows Zimbabwe into a cholera-ridden hell, then it will become 'normal' to wear adult nappies. And Gordon will then - at least in his own warped, sick mind - be 'normal' too.
Sunday, 9 November 2008
Gordon's economic 'miracle'...
...is to have fucked up when Ken Clarke was taking us places.
Burning Our Money... as the website says.
How the fuck could anyone vote for that fucker? The Bishop doesn't need to plead the 5th. Do you? If so, hang your head in shame. And yes, you knew damn well in 2005 that it was Vote Blair, get Brown. Yes, and, for the record, note from the link the stupidity / involvement in the conspiracy (take your pick) of EU-fanatics
Gordon Brown. Not flash. Just a moron, muppet, twat, cunt. With more power than sense. And a rocking horse. Apparently.
Burning Our Money... as the website says.
How the fuck could anyone vote for that fucker? The Bishop doesn't need to plead the 5th. Do you? If so, hang your head in shame. And yes, you knew damn well in 2005 that it was Vote Blair, get Brown. Yes, and, for the record, note from the link the stupidity / involvement in the conspiracy (take your pick) of EU-fanatics
Gordon Brown. Not flash. Just a moron, muppet, twat, cunt. With more power than sense. And a rocking horse. Apparently.
Monday, 3 November 2008
Mandy Pandy off to see a Panda (again)?
The Bishop hears that Peter Mandelson is off to China again in February.
Perhaps he needs more supplies?
Lord Darzai had better prepare for another 3am call...
Perhaps he needs more supplies?
Lord Darzai had better prepare for another 3am call...
Monday, 27 October 2008
Another Establishment Fuck-Up
Ronald Reagan must be turning in his grave. His closest ally in the war against the Communists (he could hardly rely on the cheese-eating surrender monkeys now, could he...) completely fucked by the Establishment... yet again.
We're returning to the Dark Ages of socialism, cheered on by the Muppet Show that is the BBC (apologies Kermit and Co - you're nothing like as stupid and craven to 'New' (i.e. Same Old) Labour as Peston, Robinson and Co).
I wonder what the Gipper might have said about the motives of Brown and the rest...
This should be inscribed on Gordon Brown's tombstone. Preferably, as soon as possible...
That, and, given his insane addiction to Big Government, a picture of a begging bowl - the one he may well end up proffering to the IMF...
We're returning to the Dark Ages of socialism, cheered on by the Muppet Show that is the BBC (apologies Kermit and Co - you're nothing like as stupid and craven to 'New' (i.e. Same Old) Labour as Peston, Robinson and Co).
I wonder what the Gipper might have said about the motives of Brown and the rest...
If it moves (or might move in the future), tax it
If it is still moving, regulate it (badly)
If it stops moving, subsidise it
If it is still moving, regulate it (badly)
If it stops moving, subsidise it
This should be inscribed on Gordon Brown's tombstone. Preferably, as soon as possible...
That, and, given his insane addiction to Big Government, a picture of a begging bowl - the one he may well end up proffering to the IMF...
Recently (very) drunk...
The eagle-eyed will have noticed a new feature here on Craggy Island - the 'Recently Drunk' sidebar...
This is your humble Bishop's effort to stick two fingers (or one, if you're one of our American friends) up at the health fascists who have stuck posters all over the Metrocity metro telling us all that we drink too much.
These fuckers need to understand:
- I do a stressful job, working in the Diocesan Council withpeople utter cunts like Archbishop D'Inde, who are busy trying to fuck up the Diocese's investments.
- I have to travel on the Metrocity metro.... and the Metrocity above-ground
- Because my salary's shite - or, rather, I have to pay so much of it in tax - I have to live in Chav-ville, alongside the recipients of my generosity
- Who repay me by spending it on cheap cider, being violent, scaring the shit out of Mrs Brennan and anyone with half a brain, and then visiting Chav-ville A&E, where they are singularly unpleasant to the docs and nurses who try to help them.
And you fuckers have the nerve to tell me not to drink...
You should be grateful I don't shoot-up... the chavs' flats (actually, make that my flats, since I pay for them).
Now fuck off back to Guardian La-La Land, where everyone, darhling, has a BMW and a Tuscan Villa and lives in the nicer bits of Metrocity, and therefore can 'afford' to pay more tax...
Cunts.
This is your humble Bishop's effort to stick two fingers (or one, if you're one of our American friends) up at the health fascists who have stuck posters all over the Metrocity metro telling us all that we drink too much.
These fuckers need to understand:
- I do a stressful job, working in the Diocesan Council with
- I have to travel on the Metrocity metro.... and the Metrocity above-ground
- Because my salary's shite - or, rather, I have to pay so much of it in tax - I have to live in Chav-ville, alongside the recipients of my generosity
- Who repay me by spending it on cheap cider, being violent, scaring the shit out of Mrs Brennan and anyone with half a brain, and then visiting Chav-ville A&E, where they are singularly unpleasant to the docs and nurses who try to help them.
And you fuckers have the nerve to tell me not to drink...
You should be grateful I don't shoot-up... the chavs' flats (actually, make that my flats, since I pay for them).
Now fuck off back to Guardian La-La Land, where everyone, darhling, has a BMW and a Tuscan Villa and lives in the nicer bits of Metrocity, and therefore can 'afford' to pay more tax...
Cunts.
Saturday, 25 October 2008
Sharia latest
Oh joy! The muppet 'Justice' Minister and Lewisham MP, Bridget Prentice, has announced that Sharia courts can now have a formal role in part of the UK legal system - that relating to divorce.
Was Harriet Harperson consulted? Do Muslim women not count as women who have rights? Or do religious rights outweigh the right to be treated fairly in an open court?
Not that I'm saying that the UK's family court system is fair or anything - just one look at the Fathers for Justice website will at least raise questions... But I thought that Harperson's whole idea was to fuck men (obviously not literally!), not give them an advantage?
As Private Eye might put it, shurely shome mishtake?
Or have Muslim votes become so crucial to Labour that they will even abandon core principles? Perhaps rich fundamentalist Muslims have offered, in return for thisnutcase legislation wonderful example of multiculturalism in action, to bankroll Labour's election campaigns - including Osama Bin Laden, say? Given their aim of creating a Caliphate which would include the UK, perhaps this is the most logical explanation?
What am I missing? Perhaps Bridget could tell us before she gets booted out at the next election (assuming no sudden influx of postal voting into Lewisham, that is...).
Was Harriet Harperson consulted? Do Muslim women not count as women who have rights? Or do religious rights outweigh the right to be treated fairly in an open court?
Not that I'm saying that the UK's family court system is fair or anything - just one look at the Fathers for Justice website will at least raise questions... But I thought that Harperson's whole idea was to fuck men (obviously not literally!), not give them an advantage?
As Private Eye might put it, shurely shome mishtake?
Or have Muslim votes become so crucial to Labour that they will even abandon core principles? Perhaps rich fundamentalist Muslims have offered, in return for this
What am I missing? Perhaps Bridget could tell us before she gets booted out at the next election (assuming no sudden influx of postal voting into Lewisham, that is...).
Wednesday, 22 October 2008
Just what is the UK's debt burden?
Fraser Nelson - amongst others - has pointed out some of the, ahem, allegedly dodgy accounting tricks employed by Gordon Brown and co to understate the level of UK Government debt relative to GDP.
The new 'series' is called 'National Debt excluding Northern Rock'. Quite what has happened to Bradford & Bingley, and what will happen with the latest acquisitions of shareholdings in the 'commanding heights' of the financial part of the economy, well, we can't be sure - 'Ratio of UK debt to GDP, excluding Government liabilities relating to banks, PFI, public sector pensions, Equitable Life, etc., etc.' perhaps?
In honour of the obviously honourable purpose of this new statistical 'series' - to show the true level of UK Government debt to GDP - the Bishop has resolved to create a new measure. I proudly present:
'The ratio of UK Government Debt to GDP if the UK had never suffered from Labour fuck-ups'
First, GDP without Labour fuck-ups:
- The UK wouldn't have wasted its Marshall Aid on building an unsustainable welfare state; instead, it would have rebuilt its industries, as the French and Germans did.
- No nationalisations of steel, coal, etc.
- No NHS
- No idiot Tony Benn in the Cabinet - fewer subsidies to BAe, etc.
- No commies in the Wilson government
- The Tories wouldn't have become socialists in the 40s-70s
- The miners' strike in the 70s would have been more like the one in the 80s
- The Trade Unions would have been told to fuck off earlier
- Taxes would have always been significantly lower
- Ken Clarke's spending plans would not have been followed by a splurge of public spending that mortgaged the future
- Etc.
UK GDP per capita, in short, would be closer to that of the top countries in the world.
Next, debt without Labour fuck-ups.
- No 'Chav' class of benefit-claiming, workshy scum: welfare would be confined to the genuinely needy - and would be generous to the disabled, etc.
- No costs of nationalising industries. But equally, no revenues from privatisation. Generously, let's say no cost for the utilities. But huge costs from support for coal, steel, shipyards, Leyland, etc.
- No need to go the IMF in the 1970s
- No need to spend North Sea oil revenues on restructuring the UK economy in the 1980s - so would have had huge surpluses, perhaps put into UK Sovereign Wealth Fund
- The Tories had concluded by 1997 that PFI didn't work - no mortgaging of the future from waste of money PFI schemes that cost, rather than save money
- No tax on pensions in 1997: not so much would rest on public pensions
- Public sector surplus from Ken Clarke policies would have been used to pay off all UK debt, and spending would have been matched to revenues
- No chickening out on the renegotiation of the Civil Service Pension Scheme in the last 10 years, hence public sector pensions would be more sustainable
So UK would have had no net debt going into the current recession. Hence zero debt / GDP. And with our US+ levels of wealth, half of the population would hardly be thinking of emigrating...
Clearly, this is re-writing history, and so is fictional... But hardly any more so than Gordon's latest debt 'series'. But there is a clear lesson:
Everyone who has ever voted Labour should be disqualified from voting, at least until they've paid off their 'fair' share (national debt / labour voters)...
Do you think Polly's villa in Tuscany will cover it?
The new 'series' is called 'National Debt excluding Northern Rock'. Quite what has happened to Bradford & Bingley, and what will happen with the latest acquisitions of shareholdings in the 'commanding heights' of the financial part of the economy, well, we can't be sure - 'Ratio of UK debt to GDP, excluding Government liabilities relating to banks, PFI, public sector pensions, Equitable Life, etc., etc.' perhaps?
In honour of the obviously honourable purpose of this new statistical 'series' - to show the true level of UK Government debt to GDP - the Bishop has resolved to create a new measure. I proudly present:
'The ratio of UK Government Debt to GDP if the UK had never suffered from Labour fuck-ups'
First, GDP without Labour fuck-ups:
- The UK wouldn't have wasted its Marshall Aid on building an unsustainable welfare state; instead, it would have rebuilt its industries, as the French and Germans did.
- No nationalisations of steel, coal, etc.
- No NHS
- No idiot Tony Benn in the Cabinet - fewer subsidies to BAe, etc.
- No commies in the Wilson government
- The Tories wouldn't have become socialists in the 40s-70s
- The miners' strike in the 70s would have been more like the one in the 80s
- The Trade Unions would have been told to fuck off earlier
- Taxes would have always been significantly lower
- Ken Clarke's spending plans would not have been followed by a splurge of public spending that mortgaged the future
- Etc.
UK GDP per capita, in short, would be closer to that of the top countries in the world.
Next, debt without Labour fuck-ups.
- No 'Chav' class of benefit-claiming, workshy scum: welfare would be confined to the genuinely needy - and would be generous to the disabled, etc.
- No costs of nationalising industries. But equally, no revenues from privatisation. Generously, let's say no cost for the utilities. But huge costs from support for coal, steel, shipyards, Leyland, etc.
- No need to go the IMF in the 1970s
- No need to spend North Sea oil revenues on restructuring the UK economy in the 1980s - so would have had huge surpluses, perhaps put into UK Sovereign Wealth Fund
- The Tories had concluded by 1997 that PFI didn't work - no mortgaging of the future from waste of money PFI schemes that cost, rather than save money
- No tax on pensions in 1997: not so much would rest on public pensions
- Public sector surplus from Ken Clarke policies would have been used to pay off all UK debt, and spending would have been matched to revenues
- No chickening out on the renegotiation of the Civil Service Pension Scheme in the last 10 years, hence public sector pensions would be more sustainable
So UK would have had no net debt going into the current recession. Hence zero debt / GDP. And with our US+ levels of wealth, half of the population would hardly be thinking of emigrating...
Clearly, this is re-writing history, and so is fictional... But hardly any more so than Gordon's latest debt 'series'. But there is a clear lesson:
Everyone who has ever voted Labour should be disqualified from voting, at least until they've paid off their 'fair' share (national debt / labour voters)...
Do you think Polly's villa in Tuscany will cover it?
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