Saturday, 28 March 2009

Oscar the Grouch

Because one of the posters on BoingBoing (see my previous post) had referenced Oscar the Grouch, I Googled him. And found this, courtesy of nufo42 on YouTube...

Well, it made me laugh...

Now if only all welfare twats that mooch off others could 'get no pussy', then the world would be a much better place...

Anti-Terror Billboard

Apologies for the lack of posts lately - life has been somewhat hectic as of late.

Hopefully will have time to post later today or tomorrow. In the meantime, courtesy of Dungeekin and James Holden, I've made my own version of the latest scary adverts put out by what purports to be a 'democratic' Government.

Some wonderful examples on BoingBoing - LOL.

Sunday, 8 March 2009

Labour MP says something sensible!

And it isn't Frank Field!

Having slated the Mail, I now have to praise it for publishing this article by Tom Harris, in which he argues that Labour need to tackle the culture of welfare dependency.

I know the Mail often spouts bollocks, but this is worth a read. In particular, he acknowledges that Tosser Blair fired Frank Field for 'thinking the unthinkable [but sensible]'. Perhaps another mea culpa for Blair to acknowledge, in addition to his admission that Labour got lucky on the economy (i.e. unlike Brown's 'scorched earth' policy, Ken Clark actually gave a shit about our standard of living - even if he's a cunt who wants the UK to be run from Brussels)...

I don't expect Cameron to sort out the economy; nor do I expect him to do what's needed with the welfare state (and that includes education and the NHS). But part of me - foolishly, I know - hopes that I'm wrong.

We need another Thatcher. Who will stand up and be counted?

More bollocks from the Daily Mail

All right, it's not a surprise that the Mail is talking bollocks.

But this story on Alzheimer's drugs is Ed Balls of the highest order.

A study involving 26 people does not constitute scientific proof, you numbskulls!

Get some fucking lessons in basic statistics before you print such a load of crap, and try to get taxpayers to pay for useless drugs. Cunts.

Or are you being paid by the manufacturers?

Life to be banned - 'too dangerous', says Minister

Following new scientific research from the University of the North of New Britain (formerly Kilbride College of FE), which shows for the first time that all human beings will die eventually, Safety Minister Jim Fitzpatrick has announced that all human life will be banned 'in the interests of improving statistics', which will, in turn, ensure 'New' Labour's prospects in all future elections.

Speaking exclusively on the Andrew Brown-Nose show, Mr Fitzpatrick explained, 'We have not been able to find any other way to catch up with Swedish and Dutch immortality statistics. We therefore took this tough decision - over breakfast this morning when we were deciding what new initiative we could announce on your show.'

The Brown Broadcasting Corporation could not be arsed to ask any spokesmen from other parties to comment on the proposals. Defending this decision, BBC Political Director Chris Paul said, 'This is such a minor administrative decision that we felt that it did not impinge on our Charter requirement to defend socialism.'

'In any case, when the Tories killed everyone in the North in the 1980s, Labour were not given the chance to put their case for increasing income taxes on the south to 110% in order to fund the north's basic requirements for chips, gravy, shellsuits, bling and BMWs.'

The Liberal Social Democrat spokesperson for public health, Sheila Beardsandal, said, 'This is ridiculous. Only today, our Conference voted through a radical suggestion to increase life expectancy by funding an expedition to find the Fountain of Youth. And yet the BBC - yet again - found no time to allow us to put forward this practical proposal on a minor TV show that nobody watches.'

Saturday, 7 March 2009

Review of the Week

Dear Reader,

Well, it's been an exciting, Progressive week, hasn't it?

First, that well-known hero of Women's Rights, Teddy Kennedy, has been given a life peerage - as Prime Minister Gordon Brown so eloquently explained, 'After all, if Lord Ashcroft can be a peer, why not an American who share's New Labour's values*?' Lord Kennedy of Chappaquiddick will take up his seat immediately.

Second, following the disgraceful treatment of Lord Ahmed of Tub, his supporters have received assurances from the Secretary of State for Sharia Law and Justice, Abdullah Islam (formerly Jack Straw), that Muslims will only be tried by fellow Muslims, that the word of a non-Muslim will be valued at less than that of a Muslim in future court cases, and that the Muslim Parliament will henceforth be given a right to pass new legislation without clearance by the House of Commons and the House of Lords, as well as a veto on any new laws emenating from those institutions.

Mr Islam (Straw) pointed out that, 'We in Britain have a long track record** of capitulating to, I mean protecting Minorities, and this new step demonstrates just how progressive we are. I, for one, welcome our new Islamic overlords.' Osama Bin Laden, speaking from his Islamic (formerly Royal) Air Force jet en route from Pakistan to take up his new position as Speaker / Leader of the Muslim Parliament and Supreme Ruler of the United Caliphate (formerly United Kingdom), said, 'I welcome the recognition of the rightness of my Cause from my brothers in the United Caliphate Labour Party. Allah willing, I will be taking it up the arse from Peter Mandelson this very evening, I mean, I'm not a closet homosexual at all, I will be receiving a delegation led by Peter Mandelson later this evening. I have ordered an immediate nuclear strike on Denmark and the Netherlands, for the disgraceful actions of their cartoonists and Geert Wilders respectively.' The Supreme Leader also welcomed the appointment of Lord Kennedy to the House of Lords, saying, 'He shares my attitude towards - and valuation of - women'.

The third great triumph of the week, following the disgraceful and outrageous attack on Peter Mandelson (now known as Nancia Marrakecha) on Friday, was the back passage of emergency legislation to allow for the summary execution, without trial and on the orders of a Minister or ACPO, of anyone who embarrasses important government figures, whether they be officials from the Office of National Statistics, or so-called 'environmentalists' (who could be greener than our New Labour Government?!) who throw things at Ministers. Announcing the latest law, newly Burqua'ed Home Secretary, Islama Fascista (formerly Jacqui Smith) said, 'We will be tough on slime, tough on the causes of slime'.

All Hail the Masters of the United Caliphate of Great Britain and Northern Ireland! All Hail Allah and his Prophet Mohammed!
All Hail his servants, Lord Ahmed of Tub, Lord Kennedy of Chappaquiddick, Abdullah Islam / Jack Straw and Islama Fascista / Jacqui Smith!

*No, that does not mean corruption, John Prescott levels of gluttony, and 'all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others'. Anyone suggesting this will receive a friendly visit from a delegation of 10,000 of Lord Ahmed's closest friends.

** i.e. about 11 years

Sunday, 1 March 2009


Old Holborn has drawn this fat bitch to my attention.

This isn't the first time I've heard a black person refer to another as a 'coconut' - it's usually reserved for people who aspire to middle-class things, like a house in a good area, a good education for their kids, etc.

Demonstrating ignorance beyond belief.

Well, OH's respondents have said most of it. But I would draw out 2 points:

- Why is it acceptable for black people to be racist - attacking values, etc. that are apparently 'white'? Why the double standards? Anyone? Draper? Harperson? Our friends at the BBC?
- I thought national politicians were stupid, but this one takes the biscuit. How do we devolve powers to local government with this shower of shite in line to wield them?

The New Zimbabwe?

As Zimbabwe goes further down the toilet, thanks to the support for Robert Mugabe provided by the South African government and British banks, a new Zimbabwe appears to be rising, or, rather, sinking - the 'People's Democratic Republic of Venezuela'.

Fresh from appointing himself President for Life (not that he was ever going to give up power, of course), Hugo 'Wanker doesn't begin to describe him' Chavez now seems to be nationalising food production.

Like that never leads to food shortages...

The people of Venezuela have my sympathies - first, they suffered under the rule of a self-interested, crooked 'elite', and now the man that claimed he would 'save' them is making things worse [This seems to remind me of someone else who claims to be a saviour, but the name somehow escapes me...].

And, to top it all, they've had to put up with visits and support from Ken 'Cronyism isn't my middle name, because I'm a cheeky chappie' Livingslime. Who, together with the usual bunch of Guardianista gobshites, thinks everything in Venezuela is hunky-dory.

When Venezuela collapses, will Ken admit he got it wrong? Or will he be like the (inexplicably popular) twat and hypocrite-par-excellence landowner, Tony Wedgewood-Benn, and claim that he was never wrong about anything? Sadly, I know where my money is...

Fuck, I hate socialists. They destroy anything that's good in life and accentuate everything that's bad. And then they claim to represent the 'workers', whilst they live in luxury hotels and dine in the finest restaurants. Or pay their wives £100k a year salaries, eh Ken?

Just like 1984 - how come Orwell remained a socialist when he could see what they inevitably become?

Wanker of the Week

Is the improbably named 'James T Kirk', for the following comment on the BBC News' Have Your Say:

"In their 2005 manifesto New labour promised a referendum on whether or not to sign the Lisbon treaty."

No, it was on the EU constitution, not the Lisbon Treaty. Irrespective of that, Blair did that to ensure the French held a referendum which he believed (rightly) would reject the Constitution and enable Britain and other countries to renegotiate some of the more ambitious aspects and gain more opt outs. This was achieved with the result that Lisbon really is just a tidying up exercise.

Well, as much as I like Star Trek (alright, alright, stop sniggering at the back... :-), this 'James T Kirk' is an utter wanker. I mean, does anyone seriously buy this shit? Gordon 'Courage' Brown didn't hold a referendum because he was scared that he would lose. As the Meerkat says, 'Simples'...

Meanwhile, most (though not all) of those making comments show their general ignorance by attacking Free Trade. My favourite is this:

We need a bit of both [Free Trade and Protectionism!]. Exporting comes from reciprocity [NB A protectionist concept, much favoured by the French...], and we need to keep key domestic skills safe.

BUT the net result should be that we export a little more than we import.

Eventually that WILL solve our economic woes.

You just can't be a net importer and fund it by we have seen.

Gordon-Charisma Brown, Brownutopia, Republic of Tax, Spend and Waste.

As much as this person has obviously picked out Gordon the Moron's, ahem, 'qualities', the statement does suggest one slight mathematical problem: how can all countries export a little more than they import?!!! That means that we can't all follow this policy, which makes it unsustainable... that way lies the 1930s Depression, to which protectionism made no little contribution.

What these muppets need to get is some basic economics (and history) lessons:

- Some countries import more than they export. This deficit can be funded in a number of ways: borrowing, a transfer / sale of assets abroad / etc.

- This is not a problem! It's a good thing!

- If a country can no longer afford - or is perceived as no longer being able to afford - to do this, its currency tends to depreciate against those of others. This makes its imports more expensive, and its exports cheaper, allowing it to reduce / eliminate its trade deficit. [For the benefit of the likes of Mr Kirk, this is one reason why joining the Euro is a really dumb idea - just look at its impact on Italy, for example...]

- This is a natural part of the economic cycle... like recessions. You can't 'cure' a recession, as idiots like Brown seem to think. Of course, you can make them worse, by entering them with a structural fiscal deficit, built up during a boom... But who would be stupid enough to do something like that?!