Sunday, 31 August 2008

A 'vast right-wing conspiracy'

Sonny Jim writes:

Extensive investigations on my part [Editor's note: 5 minutes on the internet] have revealed the source of the vast right-wing conspiracy in the blogosphere.

During the early 1980s, when many right-wing bloggers were growing up and/or taking the usual student interest in children's programmes after the totally shocking consumption of illicit substances (we liberals would never even dream of doing morally abhorant things like that), the Klu Klux Klan gained access to the airwaves via the BBC children's programme, Fingermouse. As a result of this, a large number of 'Thatcher's children' were indoctrinated with right-wing thinking.

Pictured above, a KKK member (left) and Fingermouse (right)

Now, having allegedly 'grown up', indoctrinated bloggers, such as Guido Fawkes and Devil's Kitchen, have been using their positions of influence in the blogosphere to propogate right-wing slurs, such as the utterly ludicrous claim that the Prime Minister is mentally ill.

Apart from being an appalling thing for any decent, caring person to say - it is not funny to make 'jokes' about serious medical afflictions, which affect 1/3 of people in this country at some point in their lives - it's almost as bad as when another vast right-wing conspiracy, this time in the United States, tried to claim that Bill Clinton was not faithful to his wife... errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........................

[Editor's note: At this point, Sonny Jim was forced to put down his orange crayon by some very nice people in white coats, and was taken back to his room, which is so comfortable that even its walls are lovely and soft...].

Friday, 29 August 2008

Wanker of the Week

Sunny Hundal. Nuff said.


Imagine an audience of c. 80,000...

A wonderful speech, as heard by David Brooks of the New York Times (hat-tip to a co-religionist).

My favourite part? This:

'We got to know Barack and Michelle Obama, two tall, thin, rich, beautiful people who don’t perspire, but who nonetheless feel compassion for their squatter and smellier fellow citizens. We know that Barack could have gone to a prestigious law firm, like his big donors in the luxury boxes, but he chose to put his ego aside to become a professional politician, president of the United States and redeemer of the human race. We heard about his time as a community organizer, the three most fulfilling months of his life.'


Monday, 25 August 2008

PC nonsense foiled... for now at least...

Via Cranmer, yet another attempt to undermine English law to favour Muslims...

Fortunately, the Magistrate (and, to be fair, the representative from the local mosque) had more sense than the likes of Harriet Harperson and the other scumbags that seem to be in charge of this country, and didn't allow the thief's alleged 'religion' to determine her fate (as others have said, if she were truly religious, she would at least have had the gumption to face up to her crime, if she had committed it in the first place).

I fear that the verdict will be overturned, however... I wonder why?

Incidentally, a wonderful take on the story of Noah is also on Cranmer's blog. Well worth a read (even if he is a little bit Orange in some of his postings! :-)


Saturday, 23 August 2008

Wanker of the Week

Well, it's been a while - so time for another Wanker of the Week.

As usual, there are many candidates amongst the shits that contribute to the 'running' of this country, i.e. running it into the ground so far that, if we had any luck, we'd end up in Australia. Sadly, we seem more likely to end up in Afghanistan...

One potential candidate, although the Bishop confesses to a certain sympathy for him usually, is Boris. This is because of the Bishop's suspicions that Guido is right when he suggests that Boris has sacrificed his deputy who was in charge of reforming Transport for London (TfL), Tim Parker, to the truly evil fat commie bastard, Bob Crowe, Head of Politbureau 'leader' (I thought leaders required character and courage) of the RMT union that regularly holds London to ransom because of TfL management's refusal to wipe their members' arses after their each and every dump. [Does anyone remember Carry On At Your Convenience? Has 'Comrade' Bob based his career on it?]

But, it is clear to the Bishop that Bob Crowe is the truly worthy recipient of the, ahem, not at all prestigious Wanker of the Week award (indeed, the Bishop fears that the award may need to be retired, as the fucker should receive it nearly every week).

Bob Crowe - you are a cunt of the highest order. You think that it is legitimate to seek to overthrow the judgement of democratically-elected politicians by means of blackmail - by abusing your members' monopoly in transporting commuters, tourists, people that need to go to hospital, etc. around London. And impose your views - which make Stalin look like a moderate - on the rest of us. Well, you can go fuck yourself by impaling yourself through the arse on a sharpened flagpole.

And here's how we could really get Crowe to fuck off....

My regular reader will have noted the Bishop's praise for the Competition Commission, following its recent investigation of BAA (where - quelle surprise! - a union has been seeking to block reforms which will benefit consumers).

Well, unions like the RMT are just as guilty as monopolists in business of abuse of a dominant position in a market - so why shouldn't they be subject to the same investigatory and legal powers? The abuse has exactly the same effect.

And when the RMT responds with threats of blackmail strikes, Boris and/or the next Government (the Great Snotgobbler is hardly going to take on his paymasters, now, is he?) should have a plan in place. And that plan should take a leaf out of Reagan's book...

- Fire all the cunts that go on strike.
- Have pre-trained, in secret, a new group of non-unionised drivers / signal workers / etc. in the new EU states - paying them a wage that reflects what people with the appropriate qualifications in the private sector would earn: no more, no less (OK, maybe a premium for having to work underground) - to come and take over their work.
- Pass a new law that means that when public sector unions go on strike in a field where they provide a monopoly service, they have to provide a minimum level of service (as is required of transport workers in that well-known bastion of anti-unionism, France).

And then send that fat cunt Crowe to his paradise in North Korea. Cunt.

Of course, that would require Boris to use his cohones for something other than shagging Petr........


Thursday, 21 August 2008

Government Gets Something Right Shock!

Thought that might get your attention...

Of course, it's not any of the parts of Government that are accountable to the Great Snotgobbler...

No, it's the (indepedent) Competition Commission (CC), which has recommended the break-up of BAA, the (near-)monopoly airport operator which owns Gatwick, Heathrow and Stanstead, and Edinburgh and Glasgow Airports. Because, as anyone unfortunate enough to fly from those airports knows, the service it offers is a pile of shit.

What most passengers probably don't know, because BAA's charges are hidden (along with the Government's ridiculous taxes, in the prices charged by airlines for the crime of wishing to leave this rain-sodden, socialist-wrecked piece of shit of a country we live in), is that they have been earning monopoly rents from the excessive charges they have been demanding from airlines. And the 'regulator', the useless Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) has done fuck-all about it.

So the Competition Commission, in its interim report, has demanded the break-up of the BAA monopoly. See - economists can be useful! ;-)

Now, what is the Government going to do about the CAA? Today's press reported that the Dept. of Transport was 'surprised' by the strength of the CC's report - despite the gist of its findings being reported for some time - yet another triumph for the Labour Government, which of course is totally against overly-close relations with Big Business (Bernie Ecc... cough, cough).

What the DoT meant to say was, 'We are going to do fuck all about the CAA because it is doing a wonderful job'. As ever, the Government - like its Great Leader - is 'listening'....

The problem with the CAA, like the water regulator after Ian Byatt left, is that it is too soft on monopolies who provide shit services. Just look at the level of price increases allowed for BAA - 23.5% real, followed by RPI + 7.5% for 4 years (note, not CPI, the supposed real level of inflation reported by the Snotgobbler), in order to pay for British Airways' new, ahem, 'wonderful' T5! And they say that BA is not supported by the Government, as, say, Air France is...

[Incidentally, having seen the CC's original report, the CAA did it's best to ensure its future survival by jumping on the 'break up BAA' bandwagon... what the fuck was it doing before? 'Dr' Harry Bush, its 'Group Director of Economic Regulation', is a political animal (formerly a senior bod at the Treasury, where the Bishop gathers he was responsible for the joys of public-private 'partnerships'... and no, that has nothing to do with gay sex or Harriet Harperson...), so is clearly simply trying to save his - and, maybe, the CAA's - skin.]

I have no problem with good service being rewarded - but the investment must be made first, and the service (whether a more pleasant airport, shorter queues, or less leaks from pipes, etc.) should noticeably improve before price increases are allowed. Not the other way round - otherwise the incentives are all wrong.

And don't get me started on the returns that are allowed on what are, essentially, risk-free investments (because, like the Inland Revenue, 'customers' can't go elsewhere). Why the fuck should we - because it is us, the airlines' customers, who pay for the subsidies to BA increased charges - pay a return that's higher than the risk-free rate on something that we are paying for (as the repayments of loans used to fund investments are factored into the prices allowed, and there is nowhere else for customers to go). Now, when BAA is broken up, we can think again about the appropriate rate of return. But we need to get tough on these cunts.

Rant over :)

Or I thought it was, until I read, in this FT piece, that the unions were opposed to BAA's break-up. Because, of course, some of the biggest beneficiaries of monopolies are unionised workforces (as we saw with the old nationalised industries - and the weeks / months spent waiting to have telephone lines installed, etc.).

If you needed confirmation that the CC are right, this should be it...


Saturday, 16 August 2008

Rewards for failure

A little-noticed announcement from our friends at the Treasury....

Two failures successes from the Financial Services Authority have been appointed to its Board as non-executive directors!

Lady Callum McCarthy and Sir Deidre Hutton, Chairman and 'Deputy Chair' (though, judging from her picture, not even a very desperate person - well, unless they like the 'Butch' look - would want to sit on her....) of the FSA during the great success which is Northern Crock, are being rewarded for their failure by being appointed to the Treasury's Board (although I suppose that, given the way the economy is going, it may be more of a punishment than a reward...).

Now, Nick Macpherson - a Gordon Brown appointment - says that he is looking forward to working with them, and that they will bring 'extensive experience' to their roles. Well, he would have to say that, wouldn't he - he can't exactly say 'extensive experience of fucking up', can he? But it is reward for backing the Treasury is seeking to dump the blame for the Crock on the Bank of England, when in fact it was down to

a) The ill-thought through trilateral arrangements for banking regulation brought in by the great Snotgobbler himself [note that another Brown favourite (in the James I sense?), Tom Scholar, worked on the introduction of that regulation and has now been appointed as Managing Director of the Directorate overseeing the Crock (including a Board role on the Government's first nationalisation in God-only knows how many years)].

b) The FSA's inability to regulate its own bowel movements, yet alone the ex-Nat West fuckups who were running the Crock. They actually agreed to reduce its capital requirements a few months before it went bust, for fuck's sake! Not helped by the Treasury's decision to impose public sector pay controls and headcount reductions on an organisation whose best staff are regularly poached by banks at significantly higher salaries than those offered by the FSA.... Another triumph for Big Government! Hurrah!

I'm sure that Lady McCarthy and the 'deputy' chair (stool?) will add a lot of value...

Lord save us from the cretins that run our country...


Update 27/08/08 : I see the good people at Private Eye have finally caught up with half the story. They should spend more time reading blogs...

Saturday, 9 August 2008

Brown off his rocker :)

Dear Reader

(You might want to scroll down to June 7 for my latest posting... for some reason, most likely the Bishop's technical incompetence, the dates are all buggered up...)

One thing the Bishop has noted during his AWOL has been the references to Gordon the Moron's mental health, e.g. on Guido.

Hasn't he missed an amusing headline opportunity?

Just asking...