Of McBride & Other Morons...

Mrs Brennan is studying Eugenics at the moment. Fascinating stuff - and it made me aware of the cultural influence against Eugenics to which I have been subjected. My immediate reaction was along the lines of, 'Hitler was into that, it's been associated with racism....'. And nerds like me have, of course, seen Gattaca, which was quite scary - because genes are only part of the story, and can never be used to predict what a person is.

Except intelligence is highly genetic... and, in practice, a combination of genetically-inherited idiocy and an upbringing by parental idiots seems to be a strong predictor of who provides the 'entertainment' for the police on a Friday and Saturday night...

Anyway... It turns out that 'moron', 'imbecile' and 'idiot' are technical terms, with specific meanings attached to each:

An idiot has an IQ of 0-25.
An imbecile has an IQ of 26-50.
Whilst a moron has an IQ of 51-75 (though some say up to 80). Apparently, these were considered the most dangerous, as they were more likely than idiots and imbeciles to reproduce, and thus damage the gene pool (see Inspector Gadget blog - including the link above - to see the results of state-sponsorship for morons...).

Well, the events of this joyous Easter weekend got me thinking about how we might modernise these terms, which have simply, of course, become random terms of abuse today...

A 'Draper' could be used instead of 'idiot' - quite simply because everyone can see that this is exactly what he is.
A 'McBride' could be an 'imbecile' - because he's not quite so obviously stupid, until, that is, he uses a No.10 computer / internet link to send defamatory emails to fellow McBrides and Drapers.
And a 'Toynbee' could be used as the modern term for 'moron' - because Toynbees are the most dangerous, getting widespread coverage on the BBC and in moronic 'newspapers' for her equally moronic views, and therefore risking severe mental damage to the wider population.

Australian PM Rudd takes lead in new fiscal stimulus

Following this week's G20 meeting, Australian PM Kevin Rudd has already shown his willingness to follow Gordon Brown's lead in stimulating the economy by throwing mobile phones and other objects at his staff, requiring the purchase of their replacement, thereby providing a much-needed demand boost to the economy.

Mr Rudd's new spokesman, Alastair Campbell, pointed out that, 'Throwing items such as mobile phones and chairs at civil servants is just Kevin's way of joking around. And even if they did require counselling afterwards, that will also help stimulate the economy.

'If you report anything other than this official line, you'll end up like David Kelly.'

Reports from ex-staffers that Mr Rudd's behaviour could be explained by the fact that he had caught a rare virus from Mr Brown - who has exhibited behaviours similar to those of Mr Rudd, including telephoning officials at all times of the night and having violent temper tantrums, as well as throwing objects at people - known as socialistus mentalis psycho-sociopathus (SMPS) were dismissed by Mr Campbell, who pointed out that, 'I'm a pretty sane kind of guy, and I'm sure I would have noticed any abnormal behaviour on the part of Kevin, or, indeed, Gordon, who is, of course, one of my closest friends.'

Denying reports that he had deliberately passed on the SMPS virus to Mr Rudd, Gordon Brown said, 'We announced at the G20 that we would launch a fiscal stimulus, and Kevin Rudd is doing just that. The fact that Kevin Rudd is following the lead taken by the Labour Government in Great Britain just goes to show how far the do-nothing-Tories are outside the consensus of world opinion in dealing with the downturn.

'With the leaders of all G20 countries following my lead and breaking mobile phones, computer keyboards and chairs at least once a day, we will soon reach the $1.1 trillion stimulus promised in London on Thursday.'

Shares of Nokia, Motorola and LG rose sharply in trading today, following Mr Brown's comments.


Medical note: The SMPS virus

The SMPS virus is normally transmitted sexually, usually through unprotected anal intercourse. However, it can also (rarely) be transmitted via contaminated toilet seats. Mr Rudd is known to partake of an unusual practice, known as 'driving the porcelain bus' on occasions, usually after eating food at sporting events. It is possible he could have caught the SMPS virus after sharing a bathroom with Mr Brown at the G20 event.

NHS to offer new 'Polly Pill'

Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced today that the new Polly Pill, revealed 'exclusively' on the Al-Jabeeba website this week, will be made available immediately on the NHS, on a compulsory basis, to all voters citizens, despite concerns about side-effects.

The Chancellor One-eyed Scottish cunt Prime Minister said, 'Ve have been looking for vays of making you pork, I mean, we have been looking for ways to neutralise opposition and ensure the re-election of a National Socialist Labour government, and this is perfect. It will not benefit hard-working families throughout the Socialist Republic of Scotland the UK.

Named after legendary Guardian columnist Polly Toynbee, once the new Polly Pill has been taken, the patient immediately begins to spout left-wing bollocks reasonable, 'liberal' views, and will immediately believe everything that Gordon Brown says, including the delusion obvious point that he is the Saviour of the World, John the Baptist to Barack Obama's Jesus.

Concerns about side-effects - including allegations of the development of SHS (Severe Hypocrisy Syndrome), usually involving earning large sums of money for writing bollocks whilst pretending to represent 'the poor', and taking regular flights to a second home abroad whilst condemning those who fly abroad for their one holiday a year for causing global warming - have been dismissed by those close to the Prime Minister, who point out that the Polly Pill is believed to reduce the incidence of Conservative voting by as much as 50%, and that, therefore, the benefits hugely outweigh any risks.

Wanker of the Week

Is the improbably named 'James T Kirk', for the following comment on the BBC News' Have Your Say:

"In their 2005 manifesto New labour promised a referendum on whether or not to sign the Lisbon treaty."

No, it was on the EU constitution, not the Lisbon Treaty. Irrespective of that, Blair did that to ensure the French held a referendum which he believed (rightly) would reject the Constitution and enable Britain and other countries to renegotiate some of the more ambitious aspects and gain more opt outs. This was achieved with the result that Lisbon really is just a tidying up exercise.

Well, as much as I like Star Trek (alright, alright, stop sniggering at the back... :-), this 'James T Kirk' is an utter wanker. I mean, does anyone seriously buy this shit? Gordon 'Courage' Brown didn't hold a referendum because he was scared that he would lose. As the Meerkat says, 'Simples'...

Meanwhile, most (though not all) of those making comments show their general ignorance by attacking Free Trade. My favourite is this:

We need a bit of both [Free Trade and Protectionism!]. Exporting comes from reciprocity [NB A protectionist concept, much favoured by the French...], and we need to keep key domestic skills safe.

BUT the net result should be that we export a little more than we import.

Eventually that WILL solve our economic woes.

You just can't be a net importer and fund it by debt...as we have seen.

Gordon-Charisma Brown, Brownutopia, Republic of Tax, Spend and Waste.

As much as this person has obviously picked out Gordon the Moron's, ahem, 'qualities', the statement does suggest one slight mathematical problem: how can all countries export a little more than they import?!!! That means that we can't all follow this policy, which makes it unsustainable... that way lies the 1930s Depression, to which protectionism made no little contribution.

What these muppets need to get is some basic economics (and history) lessons:

- Some countries import more than they export. This deficit can be funded in a number of ways: borrowing, a transfer / sale of assets abroad / etc.

- This is not a problem! It's a good thing!

- If a country can no longer afford - or is perceived as no longer being able to afford - to do this, its currency tends to depreciate against those of others. This makes its imports more expensive, and its exports cheaper, allowing it to reduce / eliminate its trade deficit. [For the benefit of the likes of Mr Kirk, this is one reason why joining the Euro is a really dumb idea - just look at its impact on Italy, for example...]

- This is a natural part of the economic cycle... like recessions. You can't 'cure' a recession, as idiots like Brown seem to think. Of course, you can make them worse, by entering them with a structural fiscal deficit, built up during a boom... But who would be stupid enough to do something like that?!

Nutter on the bus...

'Fuckin kids, nah fuckin respect these days. Me, I got a dodgy knee, and that scum we've brought into the world won't give me a seat. Kids these days - they're just scum. Just stabbing kids, no good for anyfink. Going into hospital tomorruh, only waiting til tomorruh so I can get my pension. And they won't give me a seat'

Says the nutter to his reflection in the window, as he climbs up onto the top deck of the thing they call a bus here in Chav-ville.

So far, not a lot to disagree with.

'Can't believe the mess this country's in. We're going to the bloody dogs.'

How true.

'It's all the fault of that one-eyed Scotch cunt. He should go back to fuckin' Scotland. He's finished, finished.'

If only. If only.

'Let the banks fail. Why the fuck should bloody taxpayers bail out the fucking banks? Somefink else would've evolved to take their place.'

True, how true.

'This place is full of bloody Europeans, half of 'em don't even speak fuckin' English.'

Mmmmm. Well, I don't hold it against you.

'All that cunt Gordon Brown's fault. He's let 'em in.'

Fair point. But they (and the, ahem, people of colour you don't appear to like very much) are, for the most part, a damn sight more useful than the native inhabitants of Chav-ville. Perhaps we could send the chavs to their countries?

'But I won't vote for the bleedin' Tories, me. No way.'

Well, it's true that they won't be much better (not that they could be any worse, of course).

'Nah, the answer's National Socialism', he emphasises, 'National Socialism'.

Oh dear.... and I thought we might be friends. Well, alright, maybe not... but I did at least feel sorry for you.

'Yer, vote BNP. Vote BNP, that's what I'm gonna do. This country's goin' to the dogs.'

How instructive for the twats at Liberal Conspiracy, who keep trying to claim that National Socialism had nothing to do with socialism. Clearly, not something that all of their fellow 'liberals' share... Something for them to ponder - if only they dared read anything outside their own comfort zone...

Modern English usage, part viii (cont)

The Derek Draper nonsense this week has reminded me of just how, ahem, 'far' the language of Milton and Shakespeare has come in just 11 years of the Moron, Harperson, et al.

Anyway, I thought it might be important to start to record these momentous changes for posterity:

'Racist' - Anyone who disagrees with a socialist.

'Liberal' - A socialist, usually self-important, with the Guardian rolled up and stuffed up her ass (NB note the avoidance of any assumption that the Liberal is male).

'A good service' - The usual crappy level of service offered by the London Undergroud.

'Hard-working families' - Chavs who vote Labour (assuming they are allowed to vote; sadly, many 13-15 year olds are disenfranchised, something that the Party must sort out as soon as possible). Usually used to support the idea that anyone who is single cannot possibly work hard, and therefore must pay what used to be regarded (laughably, of course) as penal levels of taxation.

'White, anglo-saxon male' - repressor; bastard; value-less, someone that a Muslim (qv) may kill without punishment.

'White, anglo-saxon female' - object of the repression and bastardry meted out by the white anglo-saxon male (qv). Nonetheless, may be used for the sexual gratification of a Muslim without punishment.

'Tory' - Evil, must be stopped from gaining power at all costs, even if it means abandoning any pretence at democracy in the UK.

'School' - place where children from poor backgrounds must be pandered to at all costs, as part of the wider reach of the State. Anyone who suggests that school should be a place of learning a) has clearly not been near one in 20 years, and b) should be locked up, given their potential to harm themselves and Society (NB there is such a thing as Society, and it can be personalised, so can think, feel, be harmed, etc.).

'Social worker' - a state employee who should be given even more power, despite all the evidence that they should have very limited powers (Baby Peter, etc.).

'Muslim' - a member of society who has more rights than other people, including the right not to be offended; should this right be breached, Muslims have the right to call for the death of the person causing the offence, to blockade Parliament and, ultimately, to take over the country.

'The NHS' - the official religion of the UK, the only thing held in higher esteem than Islam. No-one may criticise the NHS or suggest that it is a waste of money; punishment is to be told that 'you obviously support the US health system, where 40m people don't have any healthcare, you eeeeeevil Tory (qv), you'. And to be sent to a re-education camp.

'Politician' - cunt (common usage, punishable by death); a selfless public servant, provided that they are a liberal (qv). If a Tory, then common usage applies (without threat of death).

'MP' - person entitled to enrich themselves at the expense of taxpayers; not to be held to account for any expense claims or to have applied to them standards that are usual for mere mortals.

'Minister' - like MP, except even less accountable. Not to be questioned under any circumstances.

'America' - the source of all things bad. Though no longer, now that George W Bush has departed, to be replaced by Barack Obama (qv).

'Depression' - a word that the Prime Minister only ever uses by accident.

'Barack Obama' - the Messiah, who will save us all, banish poverty, solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, bring world peace and usher in a Golden Age, the like of which has never been seen before.

'Gordon Brown' - the Messiah, who has already saved the world; John the Baptist to Obama's Jesus.

'Courage' - disappearing whenever a problem arises; blaming others when this is not possible.

'Tony Blair' - formerly thought to be the Messiah, now shown to simply have been 'a very naughty boy'.

'Grammar' - a device used by the eeeevil middle- and upper-classes to repress the working masses; used to describe schools which took the brightest working class children and co-opted them into the System.

'Politically impartial' - Allowed to occasionally criticise the Labour Party, provided this is counter-balanced by a worse example on the part of the Tories (qv).

'Criminal' - Any member of the middle classes who drives above the speed limit. No longer applies to anyone who was brought up by a single parent / in a 'low-income' (qv) family / from an ethnic minority / etc. who commits murder / rape / theft / etc. They cannot be criminals because it is not their fault that they do these things, but the fault of the System.

'Low-income' - anyone whose income is less than £100,000 a year, unless they come from a middle-class family with two heterosexual parents who love each other.


I'm sure you have many more - perhaps we ought to start a New New Labour dictionary website?

The rise of the pleblic*

*Term coined by The Filthy Smoker, commenting on Devil's Kitchen.

Well, the signs have been there for some time... England's white, 'working' classes are rising up in support of 'British jobs for British workers'.

And, whilst Mandy Pandy tries to stand up for Free Trade and against protectionism (as, to be fair, he did in Brussels, pissing off the French - well, the man can't be all bad!), the reality is that it is his party, the Prime Mentalist that he is supporting, the economic policy which he has supported all along, the EU policy which he has helped implement as well as supported, the adoption of an effective open border policy to immigrants and the rejection of policies to reduce the power of trade unions that are responsible for the rising tide of union action that we're seeing now.

Frank Field - one of the few Labour MPs that I have any time for - writes today about the consequences of the open doors policy in particular - and the stupidity of the 'British jobs for British workers' soundbite that the Great Gobshite in Downing St used a few months ago. Whilst the article is flawed - not least in its call for Splash Gordon to actually adopt a position of British jobs for British workers - it shows the sheer alarm in the Labour Party about the loss of their core supporters and the concommitant rise of the BNP - Labour voters are switching to them, illustrating that they are a left-wing party, not a right-wing one, no matter what idiots on Liberal Conspiracy try to claim...

But is it the 'white, working class' who should be angry - or those of us who have seen our taxes pissed down the toilet (strange and incongruous, I know, given this week's stories that suggest that Gordo can't actually manage to get to the toilet...) by this useless, ideologically-driven Government? Note - they're not just incompetent. They are deliberately fucking our country up.

One example: schools. Because they can't even get schools to teach our kids to read, write and count, they've given up. Instead, schools are to become a core part of 'children's services' policies to tackle 'inequality' - not, as Grammar schools used to, by teaching them useful skills and knowledge, but by telling them that it's not their fault if they don't learn... even if it's because they're fucking lazy bastards. Don't believe me? Have a look at 21st Century Schools: A World-Class Education for Every Child / A School Report Card. It simply beggars belief.

And some people actually thought Brown would be better than Blair. Although, to be fair (and to borrow a phrase), this isn't Brown, it's Balls.

Not enough for you? How about this from Thursday's Times:

There have been intense discussions on Labour’s National Executive Committee about how to help the 4.5 million people waiting for social housing and to get the construction industry back to work, The Times has learnt.

Now, how the fuck, after a boom lasting 15 years or so, are there 4.5 million people on the waiting list for social housing?! Are there that many useless Brits? Probably... Or is it that we have imported 4.5 million people from Poland, Ukraine, Brazil, Pakistan, Nigeria, etc. - well, they all seem to live near me, in my rapidly-depreciating tiny flat in Chav-ville. But weren't we told that these people were generating an economic benefit? So it 'can't' be them!

And what about our wonderfully generous benefits system - generous, that is, to frauds, cheats, liars and other scumbugs (strange that this also fits the description of most members of Parliament...), but not if you are old and need social care, having paid taxes for others' care throughout your working life. Or you've become unemployed in your 50s, after paying taxes all your working life. Just have a look at Ms Snuffy's, errr, heart-warming modern day story about a benefits scam, albeit one perpetrated by an Indian family, rather than by white trash.

So, I ask. What have the striking twats got to strike about?

- They largely voted for this Government of all the Gobshites - or at least funded it, given their membership of Trade Unions like Unite.
- It is the middle classes that are paying for them and their families. The 'poor' cheat the benefits system and / or don't earn enough, whilst the truly rich can get around paying tax. The sods in the middle get (financially) fisted by Gay Gordon and his merry band of cunts.
- They've priced themselves out of the labour market by demanding wages and benefits (wages in all but name) which are out of kilter with their productivity.

It is people like me, who've been paying for all this shite - and will pay for it in the future (although I can move abroad and escape) - who should be going on strike and protesting in the street. Not BNP-voting muppets who believed that Gordon the Moron was some kind of economic genius...

First Predictions for 2009

Well, it's that time of year when we make foolish predictions about 2009. And they don't come much more foolish than those made by our friends at the Treasury - return to economic growth by the autumn, public borrowing of 'only' £120bn in fiscal year 2009/10 (excluding Northern Rock, Land Rover, etc., etc.....)...

And what of the likely reality? Well, here's a go...

1. With the UK economy going down the toilet, Brown calls early election on back of his bounce in the polls. Tories fail to provide proper alternative, saying that they won't cut spending to cut taxes and that 'rolling back the state isn't an option'. Muppets vote Brown back in.

2. Run on the Pound (even more than already) - how about £1 = 0.75 Euro?

3. UK can't refinance all of its debts as well as new borrowing. IMF called in.

4. UK economy completely fucked.

I think that about sums it up. Time for everyone who can to leave for the exit...

OR...

1. Cameron comes to his senses and makes the Tories a low tax party; or luck intervenes (seems more likely...) and the IMF are called in before Brown dares hold an election.

2. IMF forces 'savage' (all of 10%) cuts in UK spending in return for structural adjustment lending. Surprise, surprise - the sun doesn't fall out of the sky and the world goes on...


And this is the point. Although a recession will be painful - no foreign holidays for some (oh, the pain, the pain...) and no job for others (but they're in the private sector, so this is good news for our Labour Masters - more welfare clients...) - it may force the changes that the UK needs:

• It will be pretty easy to squeeze health spending by 10% - just cut the national tariff which determines prices. Together with wage freezes for the doctors who have done rather nicely under Labour (43% of additional health spending under Labour has gone on wage increases). Let's end the fiction of an NHS dental service (other countries leave it to the private sector - lightly regulated to prevent abuse of market power). A lot of public health spending can be cut without affecting health - e.g. anti-alcohol and 5-a-day campaigns.
  
• Cut down on wasteful spending. That means abolishing the Dept of Timewasting & Interfering (now called 'BERR' for some pathetic reason). It means no more 'lesbian co-ordinators' and the like, a ban on outside consultants being paid more than their civil service equivalents without specific sign-off by a Secretary of State (making them accountable for showing VfM) fewer special advisors, a hiring freeze across Whitehall and the rest of the public sector (with the exception of those who can show that they will generate cash savings, e.g. people who know how not to get ripped off buying IT services), wage cuts outside London to reflect the true difference in the cost of living rather than one that's made up, no more new furniture and IT kit at the end of the financial year, etc. And the House of Commons can show it's sharing the nation's pain by taking a 10% wage and allowance cut and losing its drinks subsidies. It's symbolic, y'know...
  
• All civil servants to be required to suggest a way of saving money in their area in order to receive a higher box marking, be eligible for future promotion and avoid a pay cut - we need to encourage a culture where efficiency is the norm, not the exception. Suggestions to be published, so that senior civil servants and Ministers can be held to account if they block their implementation.
  
• Abolish tax credits - whether for 'working families' (just cut taxes) or for R&D (ditto). Simplify tax system, introducing flat tax. Measures together will save billions in Revenue & Customs salaries, fraud / overpayment and firms having to spend much less on their tax returns.
  
• Scotland, Wales & Northern Ireland to receive same per capita spend as regions of England with equivalent levels of GDP per head. If they want more, they'll have to pay more tax. We can also save some money by reducing the number of MPs from those areas to reflect their population size and the fact that Gov't is devolved...
  
• Unilateral UK withdrawal from the Common Agricultural Policy, together with the concommitant cut in the UK's EU budget contributions. We gave up our rebate for nothing - now we'll get something. :-)
• Prison spending to be held steady - 2 at least to a cell (Human Rights Act to be disapplied to criminals), no more playstations, day trips for feral youths, etc. will fund new prison places.
  
• All existing Gov't funding for the Turd Sector / Charities to be ended. If they want to campaign against Gov't policies, they'll have to find private individuals to fund them. Those who want to implement (new, tougher) Gov't policy and can produce credible plans for doing so, can bid for funding against cr&p public sector authorities such as Haringey.
• DFID's budget to be cut. It's stupid for the UK to borrow money it can't afford to pay for corruption in the developing world. Spending that remains only to be given to countries that help themselves by adopting sensible policies. But as we're no longer in the CAP, they can export their farm produce to us without restriction (helping them and us - lower food prices for us, more secure markets for them).
• No national ID scheme (a bigger waste of money than David Bentley...). Olympics to be given to Paris.
• Education spending to be slightly cut by abolishing LEAs and ending nonsense like payments to students to do A levels. Vouchers to be introduced across the board to drive competition a la Sweden. I'm sure there's loads more that could be done - quality hasn't gone up with spending over the last decade...
  
• Defra and MoD to lose all industrial policy responsibilities and spending. No money to be directed towards the countryside over-and-above spending elsewhere - the cost of living is higher in cities, so why should taxpayers there subsidise those who live in the country?!
• Scrap RDAs - another complete waste of money.
• Police targets to be abolished. Local police chiefs elected - if they don't deliver real cuts in crime, they'll get voted out. All the bureaucracy introduced over the last 30 years to be at least halved.
  
• End welfare as a way of life (TM). Anyone that claims benefits fraudulently will lose entitlement to benefits permanently (and fuck anyone that says, 'but what about the chiiiiildreeeeeen?'). Anyone on benefits will not receive extra benefits for having more children. Nor extra housing. No-one under 25 to receive a council flat / house - that might encourage some responsibility... With tax thresholds massively increased, there will be no excuse not to work if you can - I don't care if that means cleaning the streets or public toilets (which are so disgusting that they can only be carrying large numbers of vacancies).
  

That's just a start. I bet everyone who works in the public sector can suggest many more.

But I needed to get it off my chest.

And 2009 may turn out to be not be so bad after all... but the start of something good.

The blogosphere

I've had a bit of time to explore a few more blogs - and add some to my blogroll.

I particularly recommend this post by Nightjack. As well as making a lot of sense - the sheer damage that has been done by Government creating Welfare as a Way of Life (TM) - anything that winds up lefties has to be a good thing...

Inspector Gadget's book, Perverting the Course of Justice, has it in more detail. Well worth a read, although it made me more angry than a year's worth of Daily Hate-Mail stories about chavs living the high life (literally, in many cases...) on the backs of Gordon's 'hard-working families' and the rest of us. I needed to knock back a tub-full of statins to prevent the heart rate reaching the stratosphere...

Especially as I'd just read Takeaway, written by Adrian Li - which details just how much Gordon's taxes and the Chavs he funds them with have conspired (fortunately, unsuccessfully in this case - although not in many others, I fear) to try to fuck up the lives of one of his 'beloved' ... 'hard-working families'.

Taken together, they demonstrate just how much Nu-Liebour have fucked over, rather than helping hard-working families and individuals.

Which is why Labour Bollocks is an essential read for the 30% + of the population that, if the polls are to be believed (a big 'if', surely?!) are still planning to vote for the Prime Mentalist, rather than consign him to Hell (although that would be too good for the monocular Scots wanker-of-microphone-stands).

God, Gordon Brown is such a cunt.

Why Gordon wants to replicate Mugabenomics

To his shame, the Bishop was struck not only be the sheer horror and awfulness of the latest news from Zimbabwe about cholera, but also by an unpleasant thought about what Gordon the Moron might have in store for the UK.

As many others have pointed out the similarities between events in Zimbabwe and those in the UK recently, I won't waste your time repeating them. But the question many have asked is why. Why would Gordon want to do this to us?

Well, some suggestions include:

- He's mental. Well, duurrrrr! But to suggest that another mentally-challenged PM would wreck the UK's economy deliberately is, I feel, unfair. After all, John Major thought Edwina Currie was attractive. And yet the economy did relatively well under his government - after White Wednesday, that is.

- He thinks that Brits are more likely to vote for him if there's a crisis. There are enough apparent morons who would do this, if the polls are to be believed - who the fuck would vote for Labour after the last 11 years? Well, 30% + of the population, apparently! Hmmmm, a great argument for democracy... not.

- He hates the Tories so much that he's willing to do anything to hurt them - including destroying the country by laying waste to our economy. This was the Bishop's favourite explanation for his decision to follow Mugabe's example.

However, the latest from Zim suggests a more fundamental reason.

A Sky News broadcast this week showed Zimbabweans in hospital in South Africa, being treated for cholera.

Apart from the obvious suffering, one thing that was slightly alarming was the bright green adult nappies which many of the patients were wearing.

And then the Bishop remembered the story about Gordon's nursery-based activities.

And, suddenly, there was light - if the UK follows Zimbabwe into a cholera-ridden hell, then it will become 'normal' to wear adult nappies. And Gordon will then - at least in his own warped, sick mind - be 'normal' too.

Gordon's economic 'miracle'...

...is to have fucked up when Ken Clarke was taking us places.

Burning Our Money... as the website says.

How the fuck could anyone vote for that fucker? The Bishop doesn't need to plead the 5th. Do you? If so, hang your head in shame. And yes, you knew damn well in 2005 that it was Vote Blair, get Brown. Yes, and, for the record, note from the link the stupidity / involvement in the conspiracy (take your pick) of EU-fanatics

Gordon Brown. Not flash. Just a moron, muppet, twat, cunt. With more power than sense. And a rocking horse. Apparently.

Secret camara in Prime Minister's Office

And people think that this man should be PM? Maybe this is normal in Glenrothes?

Just what is the UK's debt burden?

Fraser Nelson - amongst others - has pointed out some of the, ahem, allegedly dodgy accounting tricks employed by Gordon Brown and co to understate the level of UK Government debt relative to GDP.

The new 'series' is called 'National Debt excluding Northern Rock'. Quite what has happened to Bradford & Bingley, and what will happen with the latest acquisitions of shareholdings in the 'commanding heights' of the financial part of the economy, well, we can't be sure - 'Ratio of UK debt to GDP, excluding Government liabilities relating to banks, PFI, public sector pensions, Equitable Life, etc., etc.' perhaps?

In honour of the obviously honourable purpose of this new statistical 'series' - to show the true level of UK Government debt to GDP - the Bishop has resolved to create a new measure. I proudly present:

'The ratio of UK Government Debt to GDP if the UK had never suffered from Labour fuck-ups'

First, GDP without Labour fuck-ups:

- The UK wouldn't have wasted its Marshall Aid on building an unsustainable welfare state; instead, it would have rebuilt its industries, as the French and Germans did.
- No nationalisations of steel, coal, etc.
- No NHS
- No idiot Tony Benn in the Cabinet - fewer subsidies to BAe, etc.
- No commies in the Wilson government
- The Tories wouldn't have become socialists in the 40s-70s
- The miners' strike in the 70s would have been more like the one in the 80s
- The Trade Unions would have been told to fuck off earlier
- Taxes would have always been significantly lower
- Ken Clarke's spending plans would not have been followed by a splurge of public spending that mortgaged the future
- Etc.

UK GDP per capita, in short, would be closer to that of the top countries in the world.


Next, debt without Labour fuck-ups.

- No 'Chav' class of benefit-claiming, workshy scum: welfare would be confined to the genuinely needy - and would be generous to the disabled, etc.
- No costs of nationalising industries. But equally, no revenues from privatisation. Generously, let's say no cost for the utilities. But huge costs from support for coal, steel, shipyards, Leyland, etc.
- No need to go the IMF in the 1970s
- No need to spend North Sea oil revenues on restructuring the UK economy in the 1980s - so would have had huge surpluses, perhaps put into UK Sovereign Wealth Fund
- The Tories had concluded by 1997 that PFI didn't work - no mortgaging of the future from waste of money PFI schemes that cost, rather than save money
- No tax on pensions in 1997: not so much would rest on public pensions
- Public sector surplus from Ken Clarke policies would have been used to pay off all UK debt, and spending would have been matched to revenues
- No chickening out on the renegotiation of the Civil Service Pension Scheme in the last 10 years, hence public sector pensions would be more sustainable

So UK would have had no net debt going into the current recession. Hence zero debt / GDP. And with our US+ levels of wealth, half of the population would hardly be thinking of emigrating...


Clearly, this is re-writing history, and so is fictional... But hardly any more so than Gordon's latest debt 'series'. But there is a clear lesson:

Everyone who has ever voted Labour should be disqualified from voting, at least until they've paid off their 'fair' share (national debt / labour voters)...

Do you think Polly's villa in Tuscany will cover it?

Rewards for failure

A little-noticed announcement from our friends at the Treasury....

Two failures successes from the Financial Services Authority have been appointed to its Board as non-executive directors!

Lady Callum McCarthy and Sir Deidre Hutton, Chairman and 'Deputy Chair' (though, judging from her picture, not even a very desperate person - well, unless they like the 'Butch' look - would want to sit on her....) of the FSA during the great success which is Northern Crock, are being rewarded for their failure by being appointed to the Treasury's Board (although I suppose that, given the way the economy is going, it may be more of a punishment than a reward...).

Now, Nick Macpherson - a Gordon Brown appointment - says that he is looking forward to working with them, and that they will bring 'extensive experience' to their roles. Well, he would have to say that, wouldn't he - he can't exactly say 'extensive experience of fucking up', can he? But it is reward for backing the Treasury is seeking to dump the blame for the Crock on the Bank of England, when in fact it was down to

a) The ill-thought through trilateral arrangements for banking regulation brought in by the great Snotgobbler himself [note that another Brown favourite (in the James I sense?), Tom Scholar, worked on the introduction of that regulation and has now been appointed as Managing Director of the Directorate overseeing the Crock (including a Board role on the Government's first nationalisation in God-only knows how many years)].

b) The FSA's inability to regulate its own bowel movements, yet alone the ex-Nat West fuckups who were running the Crock. They actually agreed to reduce its capital requirements a few months before it went bust, for fuck's sake! Not helped by the Treasury's decision to impose public sector pay controls and headcount reductions on an organisation whose best staff are regularly poached by banks at significantly higher salaries than those offered by the FSA.... Another triumph for Big Government! Hurrah!

I'm sure that Lady McCarthy and the 'deputy' chair (stool?) will add a lot of value...

Lord save us from the cretins that run our country...


BB

Update 27/08/08 : I see the good people at Private Eye have finally caught up with half the story. They should spend more time reading blogs...

Brown off his rocker :)

Dear Reader

(You might want to scroll down to June 7 for my latest posting... for some reason, most likely the Bishop's technical incompetence, the dates are all buggered up...)

One thing the Bishop has noted during his AWOL has been the references to Gordon the Moron's mental health, e.g. on Guido.

Hasn't he missed an amusing headline opportunity?

Just asking...


BB