Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Wanker of the Week

The Bishop has found a candidate who has long deserved the accolade...

Step forward (hopefully into the line of sight of a very accurate sniper)... Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela.

This article in last week's edition of The Economist (yes, I know it's a bit out of date, but there can be only one wanker of the week, and Chavez has long-merited the award...) highlights further details long since suspected by those who view Mr Chavez - lauded by London's ex-Mayor, Ken 'I'm not an alcoholic, honest guv' Livingslime - as third only behind Robert Mugabe and Kim Jong Il as a totally irredeemable cunt of the highest order. Namely, that he has been providing financial and other support to a terrorist organisation, the FARC, operating in Colombia (which apparently deserves the resulting terror because its citizens have the gall to vote for - and re-elect - a mildly right-wing President on the obviously unsound basis that he has made the country safer from the FARC).

Now the FARC are a lovely bunch. For a long while, they made Colombia one of the most dangerous places in the world. Kidnappings, murder, etc. - you name it, they've done it. All in the name of an ideology that has shown itself to be entirely bankrupt, morally, economically, environmentally (ironically for all the left-wing twats that sympathise with it - remember the pollution in East Germany, Mr Livingslime?*), etc.

And, as Venezuela experiences the joys of inflation and spends its windfall oil income on arms from Russia and the 'poor' of London (obviously very poor compared to the poor of Venezuela...), its Government has been providing support to these wonderful members of FARC. It also appears that support, of a kind, has been provided by Sen. Chavez' co-'revolutionaries' in Equador. And then both countries have the nerve to criticise Colombia for killing FARC leaders who are based in Equador, mobilising troops and threatening war!

Hugo Chavez - wanker of the week. 'Nuff said.


*This merely illustrates that the environmental bandwagon which the lefties have jumped on is a rather convenient 'truth' - they have failed to impose their will on us in the West by democratic means or by showing that it works, and will now try to take us back to the Dark Ages by this means. Not that I think that there is no possibility that 'Climate Change' is happening, simply that I am not convinced that it is entirely man-made, nor that the proposed solutions are the right ones. But that's for another rant... In fact, DK does it better than I ever could...

A blow for freedom?


"In 1983, in the streets of London, a parade by Muslims chanted incessantly 'If we can take London, we can take the world'" Is this true? If so, then current events are even more alarming than the Bishop had feared...



Saturday, 24 May 2008

Wanker of the Week

Dear Reader,

Yes, it's that time of the week again when the Bishop has to decide which of the cretins in the news deserves the award of Wanker of the Week...

With a hat-tip to an anonymous contributor on Order-Order, this week's wanker is....

The policeman who told a motorist to remove an England flag from his car 'because it might offend immigrants'.

Now, the Bishop can understand the police not being happy if a flag is placed in a position where it might obscure the view of the driver. And he is well aware of the risk that someone with an Engerrland flag hanging from their car might be a semi-literate chav who thinks it is funny to spit at 'foreigners' via the car window (which they, amusingly, forget to wind down - except when they've got shite 'techno' music blaring out to show just how 'hard' and 'wiv it' they are).

This chap may be a chav. But he simply had a flag draped over some speakers in the back of his car (OK, so he may well be one of those twats that blasts 'techno' out of his car). And that's hardly something worthy of police attention, given the level of real crime in this country.

What kind of fucking bullshit is this? If it were a Pakistan flag or an Indian one, or a Polish one, would that have happened? Errr.... the Bishop will leave you to answer that one.

What it is is yet another example of the politicisation of the police - and wider public services - over the last 11 years: whilst it is good if people become genuinely less xenophobic, homophobic, and all the other 'phobics' - the Bishop, like any sane person, wants to live in a free society - this is heavy-handed thought policing of the style so-beloved of useless bureautwats like Lady Ian Blair.

Talking of Lady Ian - Boris: when are you going to ask him to fuck off, errr... I mean resign?


Sunday, 18 May 2008

Calvinist nonsense

Whilst leaving the Diocesan Council one evening during the recent local elections (hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahha.... sorry, couldn't resist :), the Bishop decided to take a shortcut through the part of the Council's building occupied by the Calvinists (you know, the ones that can't add up or store data safely...).

After crossing himself 3 times and saying 5 Hail Marys, the Bishop crossed the threshold...

Now, the Bishop had understood that the Calvinists have always promoted the value of hard work, not least because they get a cut of the resulting increase in income (of course, as recent threats to leave Craggy Island by some of our companies and wealthy individuals suggest, the problem is that the Calvinists, like our dear Pope, fail to understand that there are limits to tithing, beyond which only rather thick 'pop stars' will continue to pay...).

Imagine, therefore, the Bishop's shock at seeing a poster entitled 'Use your vote and keep out the Far Right', the hidden message, of course, being 'and vote Labour', given that the BNP are only a threat in previously Labour-held seats. Because only the terminally stupid would vote Labour :) Yes, that's you, Polly Toynbee!

This raises a number of interesting questions for the Bishop, including:

1. The Bishop had understood that the Calvinists were under the same obligations as the Diocesan Council as regards political expression at work. Clearly, this cannot be the case - do their tithe-payers know about this? If this is a general policy against extremism, why did it not say 'and the far-Left' - after all, gobshites like George 'I salute your indefatigability' Galloway would be just as damaging in power as the BNP.

2. Why do morons insist on calling the BNP 'far right'? As its last manifesto shows, it is clearly a left-wing party, with lots of extra state involvement, e.g. in providing mortgages to doctors and nurses(!), a pledge of greater support for a taxpayer-funded NHS, a Mercantilist approach to trade, its commitment to reducing income inequality, its commitment to 'rebuilding manufacturing'... need I go on?

And, of course, racism has historically been far greater amongst Labour supporters and Trade Unionists than amongst other parts of the population - reflecting both stupidity and the concern that immigrants will 'take their jobs' - hence Gordon Brown's dog-whistle - and meaningless - 'British Jobs for British Workers' statement, intended to appeal to his own party's voters.*

But perhaps, it illustrates most of all the low quality of many who work for the various Churches in the UK, and their overwhelming lack of diversity in thinking, even though they are all united in promoting 'diversity' in its shallowest, skin-deep sense. This makes the Bishop wonder: who are the real racists?

One thought for the day, anyway...


*There is, of course, a delicious irony in the fact that the Labour Party is in many ways a prisoner of support from the growing Muslim part of the electorate... hence policies designed to screw the interests of traditional Labour voters, e.g. getting the police to crack down hard on anyone who dares to question the wonderfulness of Mohammed, focussing community spending on ethnic minority groups (remember Lee Jasper anyone? In certain northern towns, his equivalents are from the Muslim ummah), and the coup de grace, the masterstroke of postal voting, which has introduced Pakistani and Bangladeshi political practices to Craggy Island.

Saturday, 17 May 2008

Things to make you angry...

Dear Reader,

2 posts on the same day! Truly, the Bishop is spoiling you! :)

After a positive story (helped by a few glasses of a very decent Chateau Reynella 1999 Aussie Shiraz), the Bishop's angry side felt the need to be expressed...

So, how about this?

In brief, the story is about how the police and the Crown Prosecution Service falsely claimed that a Channel 4 show about Islamic extremists was 'heavily edited', in order to try to discredit evidence produced by that show about preachers of hate of extremism.

This leads to a few questions:

1. What were the motives of the police and the CPS? Why did they make false allegations? Is there going to be an investigation and public explanation of their actions? Errr, that'll be a no then...

2. What have they done about the extremists involved? Or do they continue to be free to preach that non-Muslims should be bombed, etc.? Errr... what's the betting that that's a yes?

3. How is such preaching going to be prevented in the future? Does anyone in the police / CPS give a shit? After all, this is what inspired the London bombings... Or will they only care when the Dear Leader / the Royal Family are targeted? Rhetorical question...

4. This has cost the public purse a fine of £100,000, plus legal costs. Are the police officers and officials concerned going to pay this? Are they going to be fired? Or are they going to retire early on 'ill health' grounds, on a full pension? The Bishop is only guessing, but the first two seem unlikely. And the latter odds on.

And then the muppets of the commentariat wonder why people vote for the BNP... As a libertarian, this makes me fucking furious - simply enforcing the law properly would go a long way towards making sure that those socialist cunts never made it near council seats, etc. But then, why would the socialists who control police policy and the CPS care about that? ;(

And, sad to say it, I doubt the Tories, at least under the current leadership which believes in something called 'social justice'*, would make much difference...


*If you don't understand this comment, try reading Hayek.

The REAL king of rock

Dear Reader,

At last! Something decent on the BBC website... I kid you not.

A story about the third annual tribute to Bon Scott, the original (recorded) singer in AC/DC, and one of the greatest voices (and senses of humour) in rock music.

2010 will be the 30th anniversary of his tragic death - the Bishop hopes that it is marked with one Hell of a piss-up. At least he didn't end up like some of the tired, clapped out rock stars who are reduced to reality television appearances or, even worse, churning out shite (the honourable exception being the great Neil Young, of course).

If you have never listened to Highway to Hell, you have truly missed out...


Tuesday, 13 May 2008

Wanker of the Week*

Dear Reader

In response to your insatiable demand, I have deigned to write another post. Well, actually, I've been enjoying Craggy Island's unseasonably pleasant weather, which will no doubt end tomorrow, and so I haven't been arsed to post recently...
But I've been catapulted into action by this press release from the National Farmers Greedy Fuckers Union.
Now, my Reader may have assumed from some of my rantings elsewhere in the Blogosphere - and, of course, the LPUK link on this blog - that I am not a big fan of the current administration. But it is hard to disagree with the Chancellor's arguments on the EU's 'Common Agricultural Policy', or CAP - otherwise known as the 'Transfer from Britain, the Netherlands and Germany to France and other Thieving Southern European Scum Policy' - as set out in yesterday's FT...
Unless, of course, you are a complete and utter CUNT.

Do you support screwing over developing country farmers, and, indeed, stopping any rural development in those countries? Do you support screwing over consumers by making them pay over the odds for food, whilst at the same time making them pay for vast subsidies to farmers through their taxes. Do you support making sure that the vast majority of those subsidies go to farmers who are already rather wealthy - i.e. making a regressive transfer from the productive

The Bishop's new - and unexpected - hero: Sam the Eagle

middle class to unproductive greedy fuckers (the poor don't actually pay as they live on welfare anyway, so the extra cost to them is really another tax on the middle class)?
You do?! Then you must support the CAP. And ergo you are a CUNT: Cap-supporting, useless, nob-eating tosser.

Now, the GFU press release tries to pretend that it is in favour of CAP reform. As do its friends in Defra. But they don't really support reform - hence their press release. What they want is for their Friends in France to do their dirty work for them. And therefore the UK Government, including Sam the Eagle, must not do anything to make the French think that there is actually a demand for real reform of the CAP, as opposed to posturing to keep the British electorate happy that 'we would like to reform it, we really would, but those Bastard Frogs won't let us'. That would never do!

Of course the GFU likes the CAP - hence the wish for 'gradual' reform, i.e. no reform. That is why it is full of CUNTs.

That means you, GFU President Peter Kendall. You are truly a wanker.

And that is why I am proposing you as the inaugural Wanker of the Week.

Congratu-fucking-lations. Now - time to celebrate - go hang yourself from that fucking tree in your farmyard, you gobshite, you pinprick, you... oh just go to Hell.

God bless you for listening, dear Reader. Now, where's that glass of communion wine...

*With apologies to that shite late-night Channel 4 show of a few years ago that had a similar prize. I couldn't be arsed to make up a new one...