They smell...

The French, that is. Well, French politicians, at least. Even more than our own, with the exception of Gordon the Moron, who looks like the last time he saw soap and water was when he lived in the Manse.

Why am I fucked off with the French? Well, apart from the obvious (I think I've ranted about the CAP before)? They do produce good wine, after all (I enjoyed a particularly delicious bottle of 1997 Cornas last night, so much so that I finished the whole bottle...). And their food's good too. Although the Bishop prefers Spain for both.

Well, the French Church currently presides over our European Eucumenical Affairs Council. And the bastards sent a draft communication, to be sent to the Chinese Church, for agreement within the hour in fucking French! Trying to pull a fast one, they included provisions for communion wine to be sourced only from France, and for communion wafers to have 'special geographic status' that means they could only be made in Archbishop Barnier's cow shed!

Unfortunately for them, the Bishop speaks French. So I told them to fuck off.

So a pretty good day, all in all. :)

Time for a good bottle of Ridge Cabernet - 1997. Mmmmm. I might just have to finish the bottle. Only to piss off the health fascists who have been putting stupid ads up all over the Metrocity Metro, you understand?

Cheers!


BB

Pigs in Shit Special?

Whilst perusing Hansard recently (the wonderful life of a Diocesan Council bureaucrat! :), the Bishop noticed the lobbying efforts of Richard Bacon MP, on behalf of British pig farmers and pork products...

Does the editor of Hansard have a sense of humour? Or does Mr Bacon? The Bishop thinks we should be told...

Either way, the exchanges here demonstrate the ignorance of basic economics of our lords MPs and masters.... Don't expect any changes to the ludicrous CAP from the Tories...

Given the vested interests - and possible financial backing (must look up Mr Bacon's declaration of interests...) - behind this lobbying effort, perhaps this is a special example for Guido's 'Pigs in Shit' ratings system?

The Bishop has lost his appetite for British Bacon - I encourage you to buy Danish....


BB

The new 'Axis of Evil'?

Everyone has heard of the Axis of Evil so beloved of George W Bush. But one part of that Axis - Saddam Hussein - is dead. That leaves Iran, Syria, Hezbollah, and North Korea (although there are signs that the latter is gradually moving...). All of them are, of course, complete ***** (censored by Mrs Brennan...;)

However, the Bishop has come across worrying news about the formation of a new 'Axis'.

What is particularly concerning is that this axis involves Italy and is led by someone called 'Adolf'. And it involves French collaboration... :) Now where have I heard that one before???

Italy and France. Fucking selfish, ignorant bastards (sorry Mrs B! :), who want to keep poor countries poor and screw European consumers... and their own economies into the bargain...

What a wonderful 'vision' to inspire us to believe them about the EU Constitution 'Lisbon Treaty'...


BB

Update: As Jon Stewart pointed out on the (wonderful) Daily Show last night, the original Axis of Evil has been reduced to just Iran, now that North Korea has successfully blackmailed succumbed to the US. Perhaps Mr Bush could now focus on this new Axis...

Wanker of the Week*

Dear Reader

In response to your insatiable demand, I have deigned to write another post. Well, actually, I've been enjoying Craggy Island's unseasonably pleasant weather, which will no doubt end tomorrow, and so I haven't been arsed to post recently...

But I've been catapulted into action by this press release from the National Farmers Greedy Fuckers Union.

Now, my Reader may have assumed from some of my rantings elsewhere in the Blogosphere - and, of course, the LPUK link on this blog - that I am not a big fan of the current administration. But it is hard to disagree with the Chancellor's arguments on the EU's 'Common Agricultural Policy', or CAP - otherwise known as the 'Transfer from Britain, the Netherlands and Germany to France and other Thieving Southern European Scum Policy' - as set out in yesterday's FT...

Unless, of course, you are a complete and utter CUNT.

Do you support screwing over developing country farmers, and, indeed, stopping any rural development in those countries? Do you support screwing over consumers by making them pay over the odds for food, whilst at the same time making them pay for vast subsidies to farmers through their taxes. Do you support making sure that the vast majority of those subsidies go to farmers who are already rather wealthy - i.e. making a regressive transfer from the productive

The Bishop's new - and unexpected - hero: Sam the Eagle

middle class to unproductive greedy fuckers (the poor don't actually pay as they live on welfare anyway, so the extra cost to them is really another tax on the middle class)?

You do?! Then you must support the CAP. And ergo you are a CUNT: Cap-supporting, useless, nob-eating tosser.

Now, the GFU press release tries to pretend that it is in favour of CAP reform. As do its friends in Defra. But they don't really support reform - hence their press release. What they want is for their Friends in France to do their dirty work for them. And therefore the UK Government, including Sam the Eagle, must not do anything to make the French think that there is actually a demand for real reform of the CAP, as opposed to posturing to keep the British electorate happy that 'we would like to reform it, we really would, but those Bastard Frogs won't let us'. That would never do!

Of course the GFU likes the CAP - hence the wish for 'gradual' reform, i.e. no reform. That is why it is full of CUNTs.

That means you, GFU President Peter Kendall. You are truly a wanker.

And that is why I am proposing you as the inaugural Wanker of the Week.

Congratu-fucking-lations. Now - time to celebrate - go hang yourself from that fucking tree in your farmyard, you gobshite, you pinprick, you... oh just go to Hell.

God bless you for listening, dear Reader. Now, where's that glass of communion wine...

BB

*With apologies to that shite late-night Channel 4 show of a few years ago that had a similar prize. I couldn't be arsed to make up a new one...