Saturday, 5 April 2008

Appraisal for beginners

Dear Reader,

Sorry I haven't blogged for a while - it's appraisal time at the Diocesan Council, and therefore time to write my objectives for the past year, so that the Bishop (Senior Grade) can fully appraise my religious activities and fitness to continue my Ministry.

Not that this will tell me anything new...

1. The Bishop is very strong in his study and analysis of the Bible and other religious texts.
2. The Bishop gets on very well with most members of the Diocese (although he must resist making up nicknames for staff from the Vatican Bank, even if only in private: it shows a lack of Christian charity and respect for the cerebrally challenged).
3. The Bishop provides appropriate support to the priests and nuns in his pastoral care.


4. The Bishop sometimes expresses views that do not fit with orthodox thought - 'whilst this provides welcome challenge in some contexts [i.e. 'we wish he would shut up and stop with his nonsense about 'evidence'!'], the Bishop must take greater care in how he expresses such views.'

Translation: if the Bishop wishes to retain his current role, let alone become a Bishop (Senior Grade), he must not challenge the views of his colleagues, especially those that are more senior, and therefore infallible.

Thus the traditional Church Orthodoxy is preserved, unaltered and in all its glory, throughout the generations (well, since the 1960s at least). Unless, of course, it conflicts with the latest views on 'social justice', gender, class, race, and sexuality (together known as 'Liberation Theology') from those renowned experts at Neasdon University*.

At least the Bishop has the consolation of a decent bottle of altar wine to look forward to this evening..... no wonder many of his predecessors ended up like Father Jack...

*Formerly, The Neasdon College for Morons with a single Grade C in GCSE Media Studies.

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