Saturday, 29 March 2008

The taste of Gordon Brown

No, this isn't a reference to his, or his wife's, dress sense...

In fact, it refers to Synaesthesia, a condition where people mix the senses, so that numbers have particular colours, or sounds carry particular smells (ahem, no flatulence jokes please...*).

According to the BBC, the President of the UK Synaesthesia Association, one James Wannerton, finds that words and sounds have a particular taste associated with them.

Note that the story's headline refers to the 'taste of George Bush' ('like the crusty potato bit on top of a cottage pie', which is transformed into the headline 'George Bush "like crusty potato"'), whilst the photograph illustrating the piece mentions that Gordon Brown 'tastes like Marmite'.

Now, the Bishop doesn't like to put the BBC down**, but the description of George Bush could be read as an - admittedly rather feeble - attempt to slag off the dear Pres of the good old U.S. of A. From the BBC? Surely not?! Just to make sure, shall we check to see what Mr Wannerton actually says about our beloved leader? Let's!

Gordon Brown leaves me with a very strong taste of dirt and Marmite, so he shouldn't count on getting my vote.
[My emphasis]

Right. So the 'politically unbiased' and 'entirely neutral' BBC twists a comment about George W, whilst underplaying what Mr Wannerton says about Gordy, all because he didn't say that Gordy smells of roses, and therefore deserves to be elected life President. Hmmmm... remind me again why we pay a tax, I mean 'licence fee', for this drivel?

Enough about Al-Beeb.

Well, others have commented on Gordy's personal hygiene, so perhaps the 'strong taste of dirt' is unsurprising. Ditto for all those who, like the Bishop, think that Marmite is probably produced from another substance which is brown and sticky (Oooops! There's my Scatologicia again!).

Anyway, the Bishop would like to ask his Reader what other politicians (and even celebrities) might taste of - answers in the comments please. Here's a few to start off with:

Alistair Darling - a tasteless vegetable of some kind?
Patricia Hewitt - leaves a taste of carbolic soap in the mouth
Caroline Flint - cheap bubblegum?
M Sarkozy - cheese / garlic (no stereotypes there, then...)
Mme Sarkozy - caviar!
William Hague - Yorkshire bitter
David Cameron - toffee

You get the idea...

Prizes: the Bishop will say a few prayers for the winner at Sunday Mass.

*Mrs Brennan is always telling the Bishop that he lowers the tone of conversations at every opportunity. Unfortunately, as the Bishop keeps reminding her, he suffers from a condition known as 'Scatologicia', the inability to resist making a joke about anything related to the back passage. Like all modern Craggy Islanders with 'issues', the Bishop blames it on his parents.

** Actually, that statement contains about as much truth as the famed dossier on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction.

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